I want to end it all

I'm teenage boy. My grandma died 6 weeks ago. I now live with my dad who is 52. My mother left me as 5 months old baby. I'm ugly, poor and I like girl that's a year older and rich and beautiful.
I play violin, english is my L2 as you've noticed. My IQ is 123. I really did everything I could about my depression. I went in hospital, talked to friends, overdosed on pills, tried to kill myself and nothing solved this. I live in a house that look like its just gonna fall apart every moment. I have maybe 4 or 5 real friends. Girl I like blocked me on fb and I don't really have the guts to come to talk to her. I know what any response would be, and thats either LOL getaway or GOODBYE.
I used so many forums, this the last one I'm gonna try, so please I'm begging you, do something

It sounds as if you've tried to get some professional help- I'm not sure what anyone here can add to that, that you should seek out some professional assistance in dealing with all this.

I do know, well, remember from that age, how incredibly hard it can be. Folks will put it down to teenage angst, but when you're in it, it's real, and strong. It may be from being a teenager, but that doesn't make it feel any better, either. All I can say is that you need to hold out for the hope that it will get better. It often does. Being a teen is hard enough, without the added things you're have been thru. But with age, things really do start to fall into place and get better, or at least, you begin to have the tools inside you, to deal better with things.

Let us know how you're feeling at the moment!

It's still bad. Really bad.I tried using antidepressants, but it didn't help, at all. We left with no money... and instead of supporting my dad, I'm all like this... About "love", well I don't really know her besides seeing each other in school, I tried listening to those crush subliminals on youtube... I'm still not giving a ###$ about physical activity and hanging out with friends... and I tried, but nobody wants guy like me with them... as i get "older" more and more of people I know are getting into relationships, younger than me, older than me... nah, it would be better for me, and my mom and dad, if they just used a c***om...

Have to have hope that it will get better. Things have a way of working out, so I seem to have found, even when I am absolutely sure they will not.

When I was a teen, I found it very hard to date because my mom was very strict. It does something to a person when you want to be in a relationship and it feels crushing at the moment because you don't have anyone. I'm 43 and I survived all that and yes, I'm not trying to make light of what you are going through. Not at all. I just want to give you hope that things can turn out alright for you. Hang in there.