Neutral Emotions

Hi everyone.

I just started college and recently I've realized that I have a big problem. I feel like I don't have emotions. I haven't had them in years too I now realize. When I was little I used to get this pit in my stomach when I was sad, this bubble of joy in my stomach when I was happy, butterflies before I had auditions or when I liked someone. The only thing I can emote is sadness and that feels very external-i don't feel sad, I just cry. But I don't feel anything anymore. I haven't laughed until my stomach hurts, I can't remember wht emotions feel like.

I've had (undiagnosed) depression for a long time, and I've struggled with self harm too. I just want an answer and I want to feel emotions that make life worth living.

What do I do? How can I fix this?

Hello,

we can't diagnose you here. But this sounds exactly like my first depression in 2003-2004. I thought depressed people were constantly sad. I was constantly flat and empty. I could only feel internal pain. That was the entire range of my emotions.

Have you spoken to a professional, like a psychiatrist? It took me a year of waiting for this thing to go away (it didn't) until I finally went to see someone. The first medication was a major fail. The second, though, worked and gave me my life, emotions, laughter back.

Big hugs if wanted!

Unfortunately I have lived my life exactly as you describe. I have told myself from a very young age that if you don't feel, you can't be hurt. I fall back into that mode pretty often.

I have also found out if you don't feel, you can't experience life to the fullest. I am 62 and still grapple with this. Please, talk to someone. I am sure your college has a program to get you help. Get a handle on it now so you don't have to carry that garbage with you your whole life.

Oliveira wrote:Hello,

Have you spoken to a professional, like a psychiatrist? It took me a year of waiting for this thing to go away (it didn't) until I finally went to see someone. The first medication was a major fail. The second, though, worked and gave me my life, emotions, laughter back.

So what was the second medication. I too am sick of feeling nothing - except negative emotions and I can only feel them because they are conscious thoughts, not instinctive. I have forgotten what it feels like to laugh...or love

maree12 wrote:So what was the second medication. I too am sick of feeling nothing - except negative emotions and I can only feel them because they are conscious thoughts, not instinctive. I have forgotten what it feels like to laugh...or love

For the first part. You could change the conscious thoughts. I know it's easier said than done (I know this from experience too), but... it's in your power.

-- Sun Dec 17, 2017 12:16 pm --

As for the rest of the topic/thread. I was like this when I was in the mode (I can still slip into that a bit) of blocking out every emotion, so the positive along with the negative, too. To avoid the very negative emotions, of course. That's just my brain defaulting to this response to "cope with" certain issues. I'm not sure how you can get out of this state without first getting through the negative reactions too. But that's one way to do it, just not easy and I don't think it's a good idea to try it alone without much emotional and other support from others.