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Depression and Regret Over 'Possible Attempted Kidnapping'

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Depression and Regret Over 'Possible Attempted Kidnapping'

Postby LoreleiNixie » Fri Jan 04, 2019 7:04 am

I think I may have almost been kidnapped as a child.  I was in the first or second grade, can't remember for sure which one, and we were told as children during a child safety program that if ANY unfamiliar adult tells us to go to their car for ANY reason, that we were to yell "No!" and run the other way.  So I was arranged to be picked up by my grandmother most days out of the week, where I would do my homework and would walk back to my mum's house (which was on the same farm property).  Anyways, it was always my mum or grandmother who picked me up from school.  One day my grandmother (who was running late) hadn't shown up to school yet, and I was outside in the pick-up zone, waiting for her, when this old woman tells me she has a litter of puppies in the back seat of her van and asks me if I'd like to see.  She had on a black shirt, a gray knit jacket, black pants and black shoes.  She pointed at a gray van with the back door open, and sort of starred at me with this forced look on her face.  She LOOKED like a teacher, and school is ALL about taking tests right?  So I figured this was a test and tomorrow we would all be graded on our reaction, so of course I said "No!"  and ran the other way back towards the crowd of kids and parents.  I looked over my shoulder at her.  All of the adults starred at her, and she sort of backed off like I'd drawn attention to her and she looked embarrassed though she kept smiling.   Eventually my grandma showed up, I got into her truck and we dove off.  I wonder now what was actually happening.  A little old lady wasn't exactly what we were being taught to avoid as the images and example videos we watched were all of adult men...was she some senile old woman looking for a little girl in the wake of a terrible loss?  Or was she just some sick woman looking for her husband's new sex toy?  I COULD have been the next missing child on a poster hanging in the post office, but I'm still here.  Did she nab someone else? Did some other little girl suffer a fate worse than death?  I may never know.  I never told anyone and it still bothers me.  I could have witnessed a child abductor in the act and wasn't smart enough to say anything.  My mother aborted two children before I was born... AND one, maybe more kids in or around the Sacramento area of California could have been kidnapped, tortured and maybe worse.  I still haven't told my mum about the possible attempted kidnapping.  I don't know if I should.  I feel responsible for not telling anyone.  If I said something, I could have stopped any other incidents,  but I was stupid enough to believe that my marks in the first/second year of grade school were the only thing at stake. I've been suicidally depressed for most of my life and I wonder now if I had vanished or ceased to exist 15 or 20 years ago,  if someone better than myself could have gotten to live.
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