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Getting better, so why am I still having symptoms?

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Getting better, so why am I still having symptoms?

Postby Kip » Fri Nov 30, 2018 4:20 pm

Hi there. 15F, no family history of mental illness, no trauma, I have ADD and aspergers if that makes anything any different.

I was diagnosed with situational depression w/ self harm and suicidal thoughts and prescribed prozac when I was 12 after something as simple as a fallout with friends, starting out with coming out as gay to my best friend / crush and her pushing me away. It was also complicated by struggles with accepting my sexuality and struggling with my religion as well. It is stupid, I know. I won't go into detail but I'll just say I was in a lot of pain, however I don't like talking about it because I feel like I am trivializing people with real problems.

Anyways, the situation was forever ago and I'm long over it. But I still have depression symptoms. Not as bad as they used to be, in fact my therapist says I'm improving a lot. But, for the past 2 years I've been stuck in this state of emotional numbness, feeling disconnected from myself, others, and the world; and time doesn't seem to be passing. I also still hate my guts. All for no particular reason.

Is it because I've never let myself healthily recover from the original situational depression? Or because of how hard I ingrained a self-loathing and negative attitude in my mind? I'm not sure. I have no good reason to be depressed if it's not situational. Nothing else is wrong with my life. I just FEEL empty. Is this just a teenager thing? Why am I still depressed if the event that triggered it has been resolved? I just want to find a reason why.

Any insight would be great.
Kip
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