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I don't know who I am

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I don't know who I am

Postby Gabris » Fri Mar 26, 2021 6:11 pm

I don't speak english very well, so I apoligize for my possible mistakes.

Everything is strange and confusing to me, like if my actions and thoughts didn't interfere with each other.
It takes a lot effort to me remembering things about my life. My memories are like on the other side of a translucent glass. There is some kind of unability to distinguish between memories that are actually real and the ones that aren't.
They are something like "a memory of a memory". For example: If someone talks about something that happened to him, one imagines or visualizes that situation as if he/she was there... That's how I perceive my memories, and I'm not sure if they're real or not in most cases. A person is the result of his experiences and memories, and that leads me to the sensation of not knowing who I am, like if I've just appeared yesterday in this world.
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Re: I don't know who I am

Postby Snaga » Sat Mar 27, 2021 3:18 am

Hello, and welcome to the forums!

You did well with your English- no worries there.

So you feel as if you appeared recently into the world, as if the memories and the body isn't yours? Is that what I'm understanding from your post?

Do people who know you notice this in you, or any other kinds of changes?
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Re: I don't know who I am

Postby Gabris » Sat Mar 27, 2021 12:07 pm

Thank you. I really appreciate your reply.

I know it's weird but that's how I feel. I mean, I know who I am in terms of name, birthdate and housing, but that sort of things doesn't make sense to me. Sorry, I cannot explain it better.

Nobody noticed that, maybe because I only live with my grandmother. I don't have any friends for years now (not sure about date or time period) because I started feeling unconfortable with them so I stayed away.

Those feelings got worse during quarantine. And I feel anxious because I don't know what to do or what's wrong with me.
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Re: I don't know who I am

Postby Snaga » Sat Mar 27, 2021 4:26 pm

It seems as if there's a blurry line between depersonalization, and some of the other dissociative disorders. Just... trying to get a feel- not that I'm an expert! I'm an admin (and approved your posts), but I'm not over these forums. I might be OSDD 1b. Or something similar to that. Or something that imitates that- I believe I have Borderline tendencies, and it's my understanding BPD can sometimes imitate some of the dissociative symptoms.

I have gone through periods of feeling as if I were an observer as my body went about and did its business, without my executive input. Especially at a stressful job I used to have.

My deal as far as these forums in concerned (the Dissociative forums) is more that I seem to have states of personality that mostly have access to the same memory- and some strange periods of memory being hazy. I'm not sure I've personally felt exactly what you describe.

And definitely not trying to pin a label on you. Just wondering if this feeling of being a stranger in your own skin changes from time to time, if you have large stretches of time that you can't remember, or if people reported that you act differently at times, than you are now. Trying to discern if this is the best forum for you, or if you might do better in one of the other dissociative forums.

Have you spoken to a professional about this?
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Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

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Re: I don't know who I am

Postby Snaga » Sat Mar 27, 2021 4:29 pm

Oh and in regards to it worsening thanks to the Wuhan Flu, I do think social isolation does.. exacerbate a lot of things we carry about with us. I can't speak for all of Humanity, but I find that being around people keeps my thoughts within the lines, more than when I spend lots of time with only myself for company. Socialization forces at least some Normalcy on me, in other words.
Image

Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
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Snaga
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