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The enjoyable DR trip into oblivion [DANGER - don't attempt]

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The enjoyable DR trip into oblivion [DANGER - don't attempt]

Postby Teapot3000k » Mon Jul 20, 2020 11:59 am

For starters I've had DR 24/7 for 8 years now (strong strand of sativa blew my brains out). It's always ON in some mild form. I always feel "out of it".
So I'm really used to it and it just IS. So most of the time I don't even notice I have it except for the mental fog and unability to concentrate.

Now, sometimes my DR just flares up (mostly late at night or the evening) and it feels like I'm melting away mentally. I won't be able to understand how it's possible to even EXIST. It will strike me as impossible yet I'm aware of this something as I look through my eyes into "reality". Reality will seem like this strange abstraction of colors and shapes and it's hard to make sense of everything almost because I can't comprehend there being something like "existing". I might not be able to really hold a thought here.

At first I found this unsettling but then after the Xth time I just said "###$ it, I'm going in. I wonder what will happen"

And so I did. I let it take me in and it feels like I'm about to LOSE MY MIND. I have no idea almost what reality is. Wow. And I just go deeper and deeper and deeper and relax into it. And then something strangely interesting happens; I realise into something. As I dissolve mentally, I'm starting to come out into "something". And this "something" is a remembering and rerealizing of sorts. I like to call this "the goody".

I re-realise into "me", this ancient long long ago "me". As if there was a time where I started all of this and I went into it. "It' being this reality. We all did. Right before I created the dream I was there, I have always been there. That's the real place. I realise I've been through an equal event of this millions of times. I remembering. As I disolve here, in this "real" reality, I'm coming out into another vague remembrance of something so *mod edit* damn age old and totally normal. As if awakening from a dream but it's vague, mostly I snap out of that place before I can fully grasp it. As if I can only glide my fingers over the goody but never have a firm grip on it. This I/we is like child. It seems to wonder endlessly through the infinite of self referential experience. It's hard to explain.

It likes to collapse into itself because itself is all there is. And this is what it does ad-infinitum. It goes to sleep only to wake up and do it all over again and this is the real me and *mod edit* that $#%^ is amazing! Wth is that? There's a strong feeling of always having known and playfully remembering. We'lI always have done this and we/I will keep doing this FOREVER. Because it is itself. What a ######6 goody holy $#%^.

Sometimes, talking to people it's like I'm really talking to myself. It's all so self referential. It's eternal infinite collapsing in on itself but as it collapses it also expands. Like, as it counts its own fingers, right before it reaches the last finger, a new finger pops up out of no where.
Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

What is this? It's not insanity. Definitely not. It's a strong "remebering" and "coming into".
I know this reality is real etc. But idgaf about these futile stupid ideas of what is real. I'm into how real is real and where does it come from?

Don't go into it tho. It's not for most people. You WILL feel like you're about to lose all touch with reality but if you do let go oh boi. The last time it happened succesfully has been months. And I can't wait for the next time to look deeper into it still.
Teapot3000k
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