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Moving back and forth

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Moving back and forth

Postby bellic007 » Tue Feb 25, 2020 9:22 am

I would like to explain what has happened to me from yesterday. I gone to work and just sat in front of my cabin and I was in a state of consciousness that no one needs to look at me. So I was compatmentaliszing myself from surrounding. I feel a block in my head yes it was intentional. Then after that I suddenly become angry for a reason and then I just got out of the work and went and there when I see the waiter is making me wait I was angry and after that the thing happened my whole state of consciousness altered and I started to crack jokes in my workplace. I was high in mood and then I started to clearly look around at my surroundings and so proactive.this happened because I got a trigger when I saw some girls looking at me when I was angry with waiter. So I think I was desirable and that made me to come to a new altered state where with new perception and then after in that state for some time, I again become bored and then find myself undesirable or got some anti-social fear and again I become not talkative and all.
Then at a tea parlour after work I again sa w a women looking at me that triggered me again and started to act so high and happy and desirable.
This two states that happened all yrhough yesterday feels so unequal as in the first case I hate women and all and sexually dead but in the second state I am high happy open to talks and relationships and all.
This switching felt so confusion and ends up with a head fog at morning.
I forget everything happens yesterday and woke up and just felt bored started to go through Facebookand all.
And again a robotic life and switches are awaiting for me.

Does anyone relate to this.
I think this is depersonalizagion and derealization.
I was confused as well
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Re: Moving back and forth

Postby Johnny-Jack » Thu Feb 27, 2020 2:49 am

I can relate, yes. For me, those switches in personality were definitely switches among alters, no surprise since I have DID. But I wasn't aware of having DID at that time so I just figured I had a few distinct and fairly consistent moods. For example, one was self-confidence, friendly and felt positive about other people. Another was insecure and wanted generally to avoid other people even if he liked them. A third wanted to focus on the task at hand and didn't have time for people; no negativity, just didn't want people to get in his way.

There was no sign of an actual alter switching and the "moods" would happen randomly. But sometimes the mood of one would linger a bit so it just felt more like being one person and having moods that faded away.
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