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Is this dissociation?

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Is this dissociation?

Postby someusernameidk1010 » Tue May 07, 2019 6:58 am

Hi, I'm in a long standing extremely frustrating stage in my life.
Somebody commented suggesting I'd ask at the associative category whether this could be dissociation.

Please read my post here: social-phobia/topic212703.html

I don't really experience episodes where I "wake up" lose memory of what happened, and I don't assume a new identity which I identify with and believe I am.
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Re: Is this dissociation?

Postby someusernameidk1010 » Tue May 07, 2019 11:34 am

I've also had most symptoms of depersonaliztion/derealization, based on its wikipedia page. And I was also feeling unsure it'd ever pass, and had the negative feelings that came with it. It still comes up sometimes nowadays and I also feel similar feelings (sometimes even worse than before).
But, what I'm experiencing isn't feeling like my real self is going about life while I'm kind of watching it from the outside. It's that I experience "something else" in the absence of my real regular self take over (point is, I don't know whether that's part of DPD. Before, I was too messed up from life-long anxiety to have a well established regular-self).
It feels (when experienced from "the inside") very unnatural and not like the actual person inhabiting the body (AKA my regular self that's "connected" to the regular flow-of-being of a human. Which still sort of persists as I observe this "something else" try to function, with the restriction it put on me - and thus created "itself").
It makes me WAY LESS than I am. It's VERY frustrating, shameful, painful, and anxiety re-inducing (like even though if I was my regular self the anxiety that I got over wouldn't be there, because in the moment I don't have my regular self with all the development I achieved, anxiety that came up before - sometimes comes back, in differing intensities).
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Re: Is this dissociation?

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Tue May 07, 2019 3:32 pm

someusernameidk1010 wrote:But, what I'm experiencing isn't feeling like my real self is going about life while I'm kind of watching it from the outside. It's that I experience "something else" in the absence of my real regular self take over (point is, I don't know whether that's part of DPD. Before, I was too messed up from life-long anxiety to have a well established regular-self).
It feels (when experienced from "the inside") very unnatural and not like the actual person inhabiting the body (AKA my regular self that's "connected" to the regular flow-of-being of a human. Which still sort of persists as I observe this "something else" try to function, with the restriction it put on me - and thus created "itself").
It makes me WAY LESS than I am. It's VERY frustrating, shameful, painful, and anxiety re-inducing (like even though if I was my regular self the anxiety that I got over wouldn't be there, because in the moment I don't have my regular self with all the development I achieved, anxiety that came up before - sometimes comes back, in differing intensities).


You may want to post this on the DID forum, which is much more active. I'm the one who suggested it, because it sounds like another part taking over. There are a lot of very wise and experienced people who read and post on there, and you might get some useful perspectives on what's happening. It doesn't sound like "just" DP/DR to me because of how different it feels from your "regular self." Like I said on the other forum, you don't need to have amnesia for what happens. There is a spectrum of dissociative disorders, and a category called OSDD that is close to DID but doesn't quite meet the criteria. I just think it's worth exploring, because there are probably reasons why that "takeover" is triggered, and understanding and working with that might be very helpful.
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Re: Is this dissociation?

Postby someusernameidk1010 » Tue May 07, 2019 5:04 pm

TheGangsAllHere wrote:You may want to post this on the DID forum, which is much more active. I'm the one who suggested it, because it sounds like another part taking over. There are a lot of very wise and experienced people who read and post on there, and you might get some useful perspectives on what's happening. It doesn't sound like "just" DP/DR to me because of how different it feels from your "regular self." Like I said on the other forum, you don't need to have amnesia for what happens. There is a spectrum of dissociative disorders, and a category called OSDD that is close to DID but doesn't quite meet the criteria. I just think it's worth exploring, because there are probably reasons why that "takeover" is triggered, and understanding and working with that might be very helpful.


Thank you
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