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Can someone diagnose me?

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Can someone diagnose me?

Postby MyAngelWingsMy » Wed Jan 09, 2019 7:10 pm

This is probably going to be long and confusing.
I think i may have depression for around a year now maybe? but in the last 6 month it has gotten worse (if i even have it). For ages ive felt like ive been waiting for something to happen and i dont know what btw. When im around people i feel really uncomfortable, im constantly thinking about what my face looks like or how i pronounce words and what they think of me. I struggle to think of things to say to people, or when someone tells me something interesting or shocking i have to fake a reaction - i feel like im thinking about it too much tho tbf. Also when i have been walking around my school, my vision has been really weird, it seems fake and it skips - for example, ill be at the bottom of the stairs and ill begin walking up them and then suddenly im at the top and cant remember walking up them. I also feel like im watching myself from the future, for example ill be sat in the car at 5pm and i feel myself in bed thinking back to that moment.
I feel like everyone around me feels uncomfortable speaking to me, or they think im weird or something. Everytime someone asks me a question i always say i dont know without thinking about it first. Sometimes i feel like im not even real, like my hands look fake or something.
Im struggling to sleep at night unless im with my boyfriend.
Ive read about depersonalization and derealization before, the symptoms of it is what i sometimes experience. Im wondering what do i do about it? Will i get medication, i dont want therapy because im shy and dont like talking about myself. Im only 17, i think its going to get worse if i dont get help now. Please help me understand.
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