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Are these thoughts a symptom of depersonalization?

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Are these thoughts a symptom of depersonalization?

Postby RedThoughtlings » Fri May 04, 2018 9:25 pm

Hi guys, first post. Two new unusual experiences happened to me this week, and I was hoping someone could help work out what it could be. Background: 23 M, DP/DR disorder for around 5 years, along with depression and anxiety. Also have epilepsy if it could be related to that.

It's to do with thoughts arising that seem to be from characters other than myself in my head (not hallucinations) -- sort of like a different person to my typical inner monologue. I suspect it's a new symptom of DP/DR but am unsure. On both occasions I was under quite severe mental stress.

The first time I was lying in bed, unable to sleep because of the anguish, and at a pinnacle point a new 'voice' arose, of a motherly middle-aged woman, saying "calm down, it's going to be ok," repeatedly. I was imagined a hand patting me on the hand. Then I was calmed down immediately, and I thanked the 'voice', which then stopped.

The second time I was sat in my room feeling very nihilistic and almost suicidal. Everything just seemed bleak and meaningless. And again at a peak of intensity, a voice arose, this time of a stern man like a sergeant, who said repeatedly in an angry tone, "go do some f-ing work, now!" You might think this would be scary, but it wasn't; it seemed to be strict out of caring. I (my normal voice) became submissive and said "yes, alright..." and went to do some writing. Immediately I disengaged from my negative emotions and became calm, and the voice disappeared.

So, could someone give their opinion on what this sounds like? Once again, not hallucinations, they just seem like thoughts, except sort of as if coming from someone else. I can easily imitate the voices again, but they seemed to arise spontaneously in those original moments. I don't have any history of DID or child abuse, I'm almost certain it isn't that. Could depersonalisation alone cause this? Or maybe even something other than dissociation.

Thanks very much for reading. It's quite worrying especially if it continues, so some help would be greatly appreciated! :)
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Re: Are these thoughts a symptom of depersonalization?

Postby RedThoughtlings » Sat May 19, 2018 10:32 pm

No-one? I'm not looking to be diagnosed or anything -- I know this cannot be provided here -- but just a little guidance. Any input is appreciated.
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Re: Are these thoughts a symptom of depersonalization?

Postby VioletFlux » Sun May 20, 2018 8:57 pm

Hi there. I know you said you don't think it can be DID, but that's the first thing that it sounds like to us. Or could be OSDD, if not full DID.

It's not that different from our situation in some ways. Our previous host had years of DP/DR though she never saw any doctors about it. She was in a lot of denial about her symptoms and situation. Eventually she realized her 'internal monolog' was really several separate voices, rather than all just her. She still refused to take it seriously, though it did worry her at times.

I guess the only advice I can offer is to document this stuff, journal or whatever, and speak with a professional, like a psychologist or whatever. Journalling helped us uncover and understand a lot, so we always suggest it as a good place to start.

Good luck.

V2
Outside Team: Arin (22f); Viola (17f); Violet aka V2 (16f);
Inside Team: Charlie(6m); Claire(0f); Ewan(4m); Guardian(28m); Janet(4f); L----(∞f); Melissa(7f); Mike(35m); Nyssa(10f); Rebecca(∞f); Tegan (5f); Trina(25f); V1(22f); Waste(?); et al.
Body: 49f • Dx: DID; previously depression, bipolar.Journey ThreadTeam Flux
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