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I think my friend is DPD

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I think my friend is DPD

Postby Justfiguringout » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:44 pm

So, about a year ago, i reconnected with a friend from High School. Back in my senior year of high school and freshman year of college - we were really close (think 1980s). She is a year younger, so when i went to college she was a senior in HS. We used to write letters to each other - every other week. She would send me 15 page letters. Back in those days, i was incredibly shy w/ low self esteem. I never asked her out. Our friendship blew up, when we were at a party together, i had a number of adult beverages, and i found her downstairs at the party - talking with someone else. I interpreted otherwise - and got upset and yelled. Our friendship was never the same, and we grew apart.

Over the years, she made a couple of attempts to connect - but i always viewed them as one off conversations - thinking that we could never be friends again.

Fast forward to about a year ago - and we started talking again. Initially through Facebook - but it has advanced to texting, phone calls, etc. She lives 5 hours away from me - and has been dating the same guy for 8 years. I am married - but to be honest, my marriage is about done.

She typically initiates 90% of the conversations - and we mostly text - multiple times per day. We probably spend multiple hours per day talking. She says she is committed to her Boyfriend - who 2-3 years ago moved to another state - but she reaches out to me for everything.

I've asked her why she continuously reaches out - she said she doesnt know why she needs to text me good morning, or get my feedback on things that happen throughout her day. Many nights we spend multiple hours talking. She says, where she has friends she texts a couple of times per day - she doesnt talk to them as long as we talk.

She is the queen of mixed messages. She will tell me one minute how important her relationship is with her boyfriend (who she sees every other weekend - and those are the only days we do not talk) and then will tell me how i was closer to her than anyone she dated growing up, or how she is private with most people - but needs me to know every little thing about her life. (I can tell you details about her friends, her job etc.).

To be honest, i get caught in a trap - because i find i still have feelings for her, but i get a series of mixed messages from her. We have had many conversations - and she knows how i feel. She is very flirtatious - especially if she has had a glass of wine.

I was traveling internationally for work - and she got news of a job offer she wasnt expecting to receive. When my plane landed - i had a text from her, in which she said she got the news, and her sounding board wasn't there to talk this through....

I could go on and on - but i think you get the point.

I am in counseling myself right now - as i am in the process of getting a divorce. (Yes she is aware of this). My counselor suggested my friend seems very dependent - so i am trying to learn more about this. I do know that we actually had a couple of FaceTime conversations about a week ago - and seeing her it seemed electric.

What are your thoughts, and what should i keep in mind if she is Dependent Personality? From what i have read - it does seem accurate.

Thanks!
Justfiguringout
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