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psychosis so strong, it won't let itself go

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psychosis so strong, it won't let itself go

Postby mmmtedi » Wed Jan 26, 2022 2:33 pm

Hi guys i've been in psyhosis for 3rd day in a row. Never had it that high and long, till now. Trigger - mistake, that in real life can be fatal.
1.Can't eat any food. Now is 3rd day. No hunger and no fatigue at all. Like i'm on very very high drugs. Drink water and coffee. /gives me some thought that i might be in very very high manic episode, never have been without food for so long/
2. I can't even write what i'm doing or feel during the day, cause of my psychosis, thinking that someone might find it here, so i skip alot. /again clear sign/
3. I do smell stuff, others can't. Something like bisquites on evenings. I've this in some month or longer. Just asked my wife, and she is better with smells, so what i smelled wasn't real. /never had this before, i think it occured after some stress event, that has something to do with this now, some months ago/
4. I do have some missing points like where i put my ciggars 10 seconds ago. All the time liek that. Start to forget alot of things.
5. I don't hear any voices /never did/
6. 3rd day i started to think my wife is doing something behind my back, cause while entering her email on iphone, she had to apply for cockies, which for me in psychosis means that she deleted her history on her phone. /had this before, it's the least that is worrying me, but only today i started to no trust her, thingking i might be having problems with her i didn't knew i had/

I know it is possible for my mind to make thins up. So i don't start conversations or limit them as much as possible, in order to at least look like i'm functioning, i know me and how to supress it infront of others. But i can't even start thinking to want to end this, cause will feel unprepared for bad stuff.
But as you read that what are the chances i'm starting to see stuff, like the same person popping around 3 days in a row, in a time i was waiting for someone like him to come around? Every time i start to think that nothing is happing and i'm crazy, he and one more came out, like in perfect timing, followed them, all 3 times. Last time that guy just dissapeared, or had start running and entering a very suspicious car, after the corner i missed him.
So i'm either not crazy and very very ###$ up for real, or i make false memories and analogies with people's faces, or i'm starting to see people that are not real at all. Never had visual hallucinations and so on, but still what do you thing.

Given everything, what are the chances for hallucinations of seeing people, that don't exists?
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Re: psychosis so strong, it won't let itself go

Postby Isralet » Sat Nov 26, 2022 12:32 am

I have many mental illnesses, I had psychosis and very strong hallucinations, dissociations, paranoia.
I am a quite healthy, strong, intelligent person, and I always came through these delusions by accepting it. Not trying seriously to follow or understand it, just playfully. Because it didn't matter what happened, only matter what I DO with the NOW where I am.

Like in the bad dreams, I do not try to make sense, because there is nothing makes sense. I go with what I get, and i dont give a $#%^ what is going on, I just do my best. I forget my ciggars? Oh, here they are, weird. Oh, i forget again. Wow, so weird. Oh, again. Funny.

Coffee I think is really strong, atleast for me, I NEVER drink it, because it makes my paranoia so much worse. I drink green tea, matcha, guarana instead.

" i started to no trust her, thingking i might be having problems with her i didn't knew i had/"
You created the problems, which don't exist.
When I had really, really strong paranoia about my room mate, felt like he is a monster, wants to torture me emotionally indirectly - plus, he is a schizophrenic autist psychopathic person, nevermind -, I choose to accept WHATEVER he did. He didn't hurt me physically, but I practiced patience, acceptance, openness. This just beat the $#%^ out of all my delusions, nothing could tear me down.

There were times when my thoughts were so fast, I manifested them instantly. I thought that the police is in the room, and i SAW them, and I realized it was a thought, after I got scared as f. I was afraid of my own thoughts, which could led to a panic attack, but I just didn't care at ALL. I ate well (vegan), and watched movies to calm down, wait a few days.
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