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Another day, another delusion

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Another day, another delusion

Postby Aggie78 » Mon May 10, 2021 11:55 pm

Hello all:
Another stressful day today, irrigating the farm. Up at 3 a.m. my husband did not catch the voice mail from the irrigation manager yesterday, saying we might not get to irrigate today. So he stressed about that and was angry “why didn’t he keep calling until he got a hold of me.” I just say “I don’t know” to most of what he asks. Why didn’t my husband actually check his phone during the day to see if the irrigation manger had any updates. Taking care of details just isn’t his thing.
So we do actually have enough water to irrigate, and he gets started. Water going everywhere, and as usual he leaves it on WAY too long so we have a flood. As we were walking through the back cow pens, I point out that the water in the drain ditch looks like it;s going to overflow into the cow pen. I might as well have hit him. He blew up and said I was always criticizing him, etc. etc. the usual yelling and screaming. He left and went into the house and later to check the water. I finished my work outside and then left for town to do some errands.
He texts me, saying “I bet I know where you’re going”. Implying I’m running off to have sex with Albert. It’s where his mind always goes. I feel sorry for poor Albert who has no idea my husband has this bizarre idea about him.
Can someone please explain why he has a one-way thought process on this????
Frankly I am so turned off about sex because he’s focused on it, and he uses it as a weapon. We haven’t even tried to have sex in months. He does have ED and says he needs to fantasize to “encourage” him. I’ve told him I don’t want to hear all that crazy stuff, but what he does in his own head is his business.
So I get home hours later and he acts like nothing’s wrong. I’m so done with this charade. Is this any way to live?
I’m not really expecting an answer, just hoping that writing it down makes me feel better.
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Re: Another day, another delusion

Postby Snaga » Fri May 14, 2021 6:40 pm

Aggie78 wrote:I’m not really expecting an answer, just hoping that writing it down makes me feel better.


Hugs, if wanted- and yes we understand. Writing can be very helpful, if nothing else just to get it out.

Perhaps you'd like to start a blog in that case?

blog/Aggie78/

Alternatively, we have the Journal Threads:
online-journals/

The difference in them is you need to ask a mod first who'll start a journal thread for you, whereas a person can start their blog without prior notice; also in the journals, you can specify whether you want replies, or not. Occasionally someone will want to journal without people replying back to them.

However, both the open-forum journals, and the blogs, are always moderated before being published- including replies. So inappropriate replies will always get intercepted in either event.

A blog or journal thread gives a person the freedom to talk about whatever they want whether it's on topic or not- and the blogs in particular, I'm the mod who usually approves those posts and I'll cut folks a little slack with content, as long as they're not grossly abusing the forum rules on content.

We have a venting forum for people with the serious need to screed, but those are locked by the mod team and don't allow replies whatsoever- they're more of a one-off thing, rather than keeping a running stream of thought like a blog or journal post.
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Re: Another day, another delusion

Postby Aggie78 » Sun May 16, 2021 10:44 pm

Thanks, Snaga. The blog sounds like a great idea.
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Re: Another day, another delusion

Postby Snaga » Mon May 17, 2021 3:43 am

Aggie78 wrote:Thanks, Snaga. The blog sounds like a great idea.


I found it helpful- usually too busy on here doing adminy stuff these days but I used to blog quite regularly.
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Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Snaga
Site Admin
 
Posts: 17665
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Tue Jun 22, 2021 9:36 am
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