I've been dealing with erotomania since I was 8, but never knew why I felt and thought this way, until this year when I learned about erotomania, I finally understood why I was this way.
Now, I've never acted on my false beliefs, never stalked anybody or try to reach to the person I'm obsessed with at the moment. But I always end up suffering a lot because of it, I cannot help but think they are watching me, judging me, I feel so vulnerable and ashamed, there's no escape for me, it got to the point of me making a plan on how I was gonna kill myself and when, in order to make this all stop.
I need help, I kept this a secret, nobody knows about this. I've thinking about reaching out to my mother, but what if she doesn't react well, I still have to live with her (I'm a teenager).
How can I tell her??? I'm not ready to tell my father yet, he's scary (to talk to about this stuff or any where you have a different opinion to his).
(My parents are caring, I'm just terrified things will go wrong, example: they don't understand and freak out.)
(I forgot to add something about my intrusive thoughts, religious intrusive thoughts, they are horrible, debilitating and make everything ×10 times worse)
Thanks in advance to anybody who cares to answer.