K2 Messed Me Up. Any Solutions Besides Medication?

Hello,

My name is "Insaneinthemembranes" (lol have to use a little humor ). Lets just say thats my name for now. I have lived quite a difficult life getting in quite a bit of legal troubles. I always have been a cautious man because of my unorthodox lifestyle. I have recently been using K2 (synthetic cannabinoid) for about 12 months. It has been about 7 months since I have touched the stuff except a recent relapse about 4 months ago where I smoked it once.

That was a little history of what I believe is causing my problems. I typically am a very logical man and I do pride myself on this. I study quite a bit and look into many subjects. Now I thought at first I was being setup by some people to harm me and it really took me quite some time to realize that I am insane. I have been really focusing on what is going on and the delusional thoughts that go through my head. I have not seen a doctor and to be quite frank I will not go see a doctor. I worry about getting on medications that will slow my brain down. I get a strong feeling people are plotting on me. They want to set me up to get me killed, poison me, kidnap me, or beat me down. I look at certain people and thing they are a part of an organization that wishes me harm. I get a sense that my roommates are hiring a hacker to hack my computer. I get a sense that undercover cops are following me when I walk around and that I am being watched for something someone made up on me. I think people around me are undercover federal agents and they are spying on me to get information for something someone is setting me up for.

Now at first this did cause me a headache. I am pretty good in remaining calm in violent situations so I don't let things get to me so pretty much no one knows whats going on with me. It's something I can hide quite well and put a smile on my face. I truly thought this was happening because its really hard to know whats happening when you first initially deal with this. Especially with no support from anyone because I really don't have any family or friends in my life. I have come to the understanding that these sinister plots on my life are nothing more then delusional and have self diagnosed myself with persecutory delusions. I know it sounds dumb me self diagnosing but when I researched the different variations of psychosis it seems this is the correct one.

My question now is what is a good way to cope with this? Now that I understand this things are different. I have a deep understanding when I hear my roommates plotting on me in the next room or when I think a group of people is part of a gang trying to get me then I just smile and act casual. Understanding this isnt true. That it must be some delusion coming from my ego thinking im better then people or special in some way so I am a target. In the end that is what it happening and thats me giving myself the most unbiasted opinion I can. It's interesting recognizing my insanity and I am trying to out think it. Seems crazy right? lol trust me i get it. Trying to fix a broken tool with a broken tool it seems but I refuse to be heavily sedated. Any ideas on something that can calm me down? Im taking zoloft that isnt prescribed to me at a dose of 100mg. I have about 500 pills left I got from a friend. I take "Stress Comfort Peace Of Mind by Natures Bounty" in the morning with my zoloft. At night I take "Honey Lavender Stress Relief Soothing Serentiy Blend Tea" with my 30mg of Melatonin for sleep. I try to work out a few times a week and pray on my knees every morning and night. Im not a christian but I am open to any options that might work at this point. Hence the weird herbal concoction I have going on lol. I do not drink any caffeine because I noticed it will put me in a manic state that really intensifies these delusions which I cannot allow. I chew tobacco and I dont drink or use any mind altering substances. If anyone knows of anything else to add to this please let me know. I am winging this right now and I just came up with the medical diagnosis about 2 hours ago lol. It truly does match what is going on with me to the "T". Thank you all in advance

-InsaneInTheMembranes

I would try to dispel the myths about prescribed medications and learn to trust doctors.
Remember that following through with any diagnosis is strictly voluntary on your part. Take what is said as only suggestions, but think about what is said.

You don't want a med that would 'slow' the brain, but possibly help clear the mind of clutter, noise and paranoia. Once that is begun, then counseling will work much more effectively.
It is very difficult, if not impossible to treat someone with active delusions.
For a time, I was unreachable until a crisis intervention and personal surrender made me decide to give recovery another chance.
"Surrender to win" sounds like a paradox, but it saved my life.

I would not self-medicate with Zoloft or Melatonin until it is cleared by a physician/pharmacist. These 'natural' drugs aren't always completely safe and can have side-effects.

Just my 2¢.

Best of luck to you.

Thank you for your reply. The zoloft is not natural but prescribed to someone else. I figured it would help with the anxiety/depression. I do appreciate your 2cents because that is why I am here. Hopefully I can get some more feedback on this and opinions from some more members. Thank you again