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Does anything work?

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Does anything work?

Postby Uriahsky » Sun Jul 19, 2020 1:09 pm

I can’t get this person to seek help. Everyday and everything comes back to this delusion that I took her million dollar lottery money. There are other things like she thinks I am constantly cheating on her, She thinks she is an angel, etc. She tries to get back at me and makes me suffer constantly. A few years this has been going on. I have tried everything as I am sure most people have. Does anything work at all. Has anyone been able to find a way out without medication? Is it hopeless? Any success stories that didn’t use medication? How do I handle the daily constant accusations? Over and over, the same repetitive accusations.
Thank you,
Can’t take much more
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Is this wrong?

Postby Uriahsky » Sun Jul 19, 2020 6:14 pm

OK, so I am dealing with someone who thinks I stole their lottery money and many, many other things that are created in the moment. I cheated, I stole this or that, kidnapped their mom, killed their dogs. Both of them are fine, by the way, etc. I made a post a bit earlier about this asking if anything works and was wondering if my idea was wrong. They need money to visit their mom. I said I would do that for them but now I am thinking that I will do it on condition that they see a doctor and take what the doctor prescribes. Is this wrong? Will they do it? I don't know, I don't think so. Will it burn more bridges? Probably? But if for some strange reason it helps them to see a bit more clearly, then is that the right thing to do? I don't know what else to do.
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Re: Does anything work?

Postby justonemoreperson » Mon Jul 20, 2020 5:18 am

Doctor would be first choice.

Otherwise, maybe consider your behaviour. She makes an accusation and you spend the next hour defending yourself. To someone who thinks you're guilty, every justification is just an excuse and you're feeding the cycle.

Try switching it round. Admit to it. Tell her you did just what she said. Most delusions are resting on each other like a house of cards and confirming her point of view will do one of two things. It will either make her face up to the bollocks she's throwing at you, or it won't and the logical thing for her to do will be to call the police.

If her delusion can handle all of that, the police will then be in a position to offer her an objective opinion about what's happening and it might be enough to make her think.

Of course, you could always walk away.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: Does anything work?

Postby Sunnyg » Mon Jul 20, 2020 2:20 pm

Hi Uriahsky,
Welcome to the delusional disorder forum. Hope you find this place as supportive as I have over the past decade. So medication helps most people with delusions. But anosignosia or not knowing one is sick is a symptom of the illness. The longer delusions go untreated the harder they are to treat, in my case I’m still struggling with making sense and healing from a trauma that’s over 15 years in the past at the birth of my daughter that involved an exam. I’d document your issue, and if the individual becomes a threat to self or others get help immediately. When talking with the person - Explain nicely that they need to seek professional care because they aren’t well. There is a great book by dr Amador titled “I’m not sick and I don’t need help”. They key strategy is to listen, empathize, agree with some aspect of their complaint like (I agree you must feel frustrated), and partner to get the person help. Also contact your local NAMI organization. They can help, too. The helpline is always there to listen and support you. Hope that helps.
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Re: Does anything work?

Postby Uriahsky » Fri Jul 24, 2020 11:15 am

Thank you for the responses. I just bought that book but I guess I am a bit impatient, it seems every day gets worse.

How do you talk to someone who is accusing you of cheating? They don't stop. It is all day. I think I have said most every response possible. Is there a general method of handling these false accusations. I thought it wasn't a good idea to buy into their world. For example, the main core of their beliefs about me involve the idea that I took her lottery money. She says she gave me a ticket worth 10=50 million and I have the money. It is a long drawn out rambling story that repeats every day many times a day, all out loud with yelling and screaming. I have thought about saying "Yes I have your money" But is that a good idea?

I have called the police many times and she calls them sometimes once a day or more. I asked what they said and she just rambled on about how I need to go down there and confess that I stole her money. If things don't get better the wheels will fall of this cart soon enough.
Thanks so much.
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Re: Does anything work?

Postby Sunnyg » Fri Jul 24, 2020 12:52 pm

There’s an old thread on here called avoiding the forbidden confrontation... it had a lot of practical ideas.

Some people say to break contact. I don’t think that helps. The LEAP strategy is the most effective one I know. He has youtube videos, too.

Hope that helps.

Sunny
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Re: Does anything work?

Postby Uriahsky » Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:04 am

I hear it is mostly not encouraged to go along with the persons delusion but I am tempted to try. I wanted to get others opinion on this before trying. More then likely it will somehow not change anything but since nothing really works without meds I thought it might be worth a try anyway. Here is their core belief.

They think they had given me a mili-million dollar lottery ticket to hold and I cashed and have their money and won’t give it back. It has a bunch of branches that involve me doing other harmful things to her mom, her dogs, and other stuff. But that is the root.

I was going to say I have your money but can’t get it back for another five years, hoping maybe meds are started by then. Should I try this?

Thanks
Russell
Last edited by Snaga on Wed Jul 29, 2020 11:30 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Does anything work?

Postby SshhBear » Sat Aug 01, 2020 3:00 am

Hi Russell
I'm in a similar situation less the lottery money accusation. I don't really have lots advice as I'm still trying different things but I've been pleading my innocence for three years. That definitely doesn't work.

One piece of advice I will give you though is choose your Dr carefully. My husband has been seeing a psych. He's on antipsychotic medication but it hasn't really helped. I've done a lot of research and I don't believe the meds help without cognitive therapy. My husbands Dr only did the meds and that just isn't enough. Talk to the Dr before you take her. Make sure they are experienced in dealing with these disorders and incorporate cognitive therapy into the treatment. My husband won't go to another Dr now and I can't help but believe, the right Dr would have helped.
Good luck and take care of yourself. Over time this will take its toll emotionally. You feel guilt even though you've done nothing wrong. You lose your dignity. You lose your identity and your life becomes all about helping them see. And then, they move on and you fall apart because your life became all about them. Please know when to walk. There comes a time when you have to get back to being you.
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Re: Does anything work?

Postby Uriahsky » Sat Aug 01, 2020 12:33 pm

Well I tried it and it didn't work. I said I had the money but they just glossed over it and soon enough she started screaming "Give Me My Money!" This is a very bazaar illness. It is like they are possessed by some kind of alien mind invasion, just like in the Sci Fi movies and we are trying to free them but so far we don't know what to do. After reading many stories just like yours and mine it seems 99% of these people never get better. I think that is why there are so few replies to a lot of these posts. I think people just don't have much to say because there just hasn't been much success.

If I could get this person to see a doctor I might have a glimmer of hope but they won't even sit through a phone interview with a doctor and I am sure they will never take any medication.

What a shame. Almost had an enjoyable life.

Thanks for the input. I will keep it in mind if for some reason we do make it to a doctor.
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Re: Does anything work?

Postby SshhBear » Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:07 am

If it helps at all, the way I finally got my ex to see a psychiatrist was to agree to see one myself for 'my problem' with lying, cheating and denying. In the end, he went but my Dr refused to refer me and his psychiatrist also encouraged me not to see anyone as this would just enable his delusion. I sort of wish I did go though because then he would have to consider that if my MH was OK and his Dr says his isn't, there might be some truth in it. The other thing to not do, is get guilted into doing a polygraph. I thought that was going to be the deciding factor until the anxiety, upset and worry caused the test to come back as deceptive. The annoying thing about that was that I was so anxious and nervous that the test really couldn't get a true result. I 100% told the truth and it still said I may have been deceptive. I have new found empathy with people that are convicted and jailed of crimes that they say they didn't commit.

-- Mon Aug 03, 2020 10:10 am --

Oh, and by the way, I think your posts were the reason I had a dream last night that I won $489 million in the lotto. I woke up thinking that for such a random dream, I'll have to go and buy a lotto ticket in one of the big US lotteries until I remembered your story - damn! It would have been nice if my dream was actually some sort of psychic experience. Lol
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