Fear of self-enucleation?

Hey, I had a "psychotic" episode back in 2013 where I was feeling very elated and attempted to castrate myself with a microwave. It obviously didn't work. The next year I got suicidal and angry eventually attacking my mother. I got help with a psychiatrist but it stopped as an adult.

Now, I'm having fears of self-enucleation. The psychiatrist did say I mavyhave body dsymorphia along with aspergers/ocd. I know it's probably just my mind ruminating but I fear for that I may end up as the woman who poured drain cleaner in her eyes or the girl who took meth and gouged her eyes out.

CP, have you told your psychiatrist ALL of this? If you feel more stress coming on, arrange for more frequent appointments. Perhaps ask a close friend or family member to help you recognize when you seem to be acting more anxious so that you can request more time with your psychiatrist. Perhaps the psychiatrist has given you medication as a proactive measure?