Our partner

Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Delusional Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Postby SshhBear » Sun May 19, 2019 11:24 pm

Hi. I have been reading everyone else's posts on this topic and while I've accepted what is happening and why, I wanted to do a mind dump for others to read before they become the same fragile mess I have become. This will be a long post but hoping that it helps others and also hoping that getting it all down will be therapeutic for me as well. Here goes:

My husband and I have been together for 17 years, married for 2. We always had a difficult relationship because we are very different people who really just came together accidentally. That is important in our back story but it's the last two years that have nearly killed me emotionally. About 3 years ago, while I was working away from home, the distance did amazing things for our relationship and we fell madly in love with each other for the first time since the early days. When my work wrapped up, things just got better and better - I never thought I could love this man as much as I did. When I was driving across the country on my way home, the kids and he were using my computer to check where I was as it was a two day drive and I always keep my Google location services on. On my second day of travel, my husband rang and said he'd been up all night worrying as apparently Google maps showed that I didn't go home to my apartment on my second last night. I laughed it off because when you look at the 'pings' on google, you could see quite clearly that I did go home even if the main map made it look like I hadn't. My husband mostly accepted what I said but he was actually dwelling on it. No matter how I explained it, he started analyzing other things.

Things like:
- Why sometimes I was cold on the phone when working away (this was mainly because refused to get a job and I was getting cranky about making the sacrifice of working away from him and the kids and despite the excellent pay, it didn't really get us ahead because he wasn't working and was using marijuana on a daily basis). Also, he has always had a habit of being a bit stalky with repeated phone calls for no particular reason and I had other things to do. I should also mention that my best friend of 30 years was on her death bed with a brain tumor and iI was a bit of mess over this.
- Why did it take me so long to clean my 1 bedroom apartment before packing up - I wanted my bond back and knew how particular agents could be with bond cleaning so I cleaned everything meticulously.

These discussions were initially very low key events but over time, my husband developed a couple of theories. First theory was that I met someone out and didn't go home one night because I spent the night with the guy. Once that was debunked, the theory was that I met someone in the basement of the apartment complex and then regularly left my unit to go and spend the night with him. That theory fizzled so then he started focusing on cars at the local shopping centers that had number plates from the state my work was based in. The theory was that the guy I was having an affair with moved his entire family up here to be close to me so we could sneak quickies in whenever we wanted.

After a while, he found a guy in our area to fixate on. This guy apparently looked weirdly at him and I in the supermarket and someone similar to his description was seen on our street one night. The guy he fixated on was a parent at the kids school and he went around to their house to talk to the wife. He found out that the guy worked as a miner FIFO so whenever he saw the guy was home from work, he started watching me and analyzing every thing I did and every move I made. Some of his evidence an accusations were:

- The guy is tall and probably well endowed and sex wasn't as good any more because the man had stretched me.
- I must have pubic lice because he'd seen me scratching even though this clearly wasn't the case.
- Any song I listened to had hidden meaning because the guy had sent it to me.
- A guy from my work sent me a message after we got engaged saying 'so, you've been swept off your feet?'. According to my husband, this had nothing to do with him - it must have been the imaginary affair guy.
- One morning he found a small puddle of water on our front deck. This could only have been due to me getting up in the middle of the night, having sex with my lover and washing away the evidence.
- Another morning, a small piece of timber had fallen off the top of our deck and this can only have been due to my tall lover pulling it off.
- Some plants out the front half died. My lover must have peed on them.
- I got sick last year with a kidney stone which resulted in a UTI. These two things must have happened because I'm sleeping around.
- I am nearing menopause and was using extra large tampons. I discretely bought some personal lube to assist which he found and decided it was for my lover and I.
- Hubby has had heart problems and at one stage, he asked the Dr if it could be that he's being poisoned.
- When he takes the kids to school (round trip of 6 - 8 minutes), my lover is hiding nearby and we have sex while he's out.

That is just some of it. I arranged and payed for a lie detector test and this is something I wish I had never done. I was so upset and stressed that the result came back inconclusive so in his eyes, this is also evidence that I am a lying, cheating #$%^. At one stage I had to take out a DVO because he was making me wear a fitbit to bed and night and he was getting pretty scary for a while. Happy to say that he is not violent and has never gotten physical with me.

I'm embarrassed to say that I married him while this was all going on though it wasn't until after we got married that he became 100% convinced that I was cheating on him. Before that it was - 'now that we are engaged, I trust you' & 'once we are married....' etc.

In 17 years, I have never even looked at another man and I have extremely high morals and standards. I have never cheated on anyone and never would. My husband used to look at me with love in his eyes and heart but now he just looks at me like I'm his worst enemy. Denials don't work. Arguing doesn't work. At the end of the day, he has a fixed belief that he knows what is going on and no matter what I say, I'm guilty. I have been a prisoner in my own home for over a year. I can go out if I really want but the repercussions aren't really worth it. If I take too long at the grocery shop, it means I've hooked up. If I stop to get fuel on the way back from my parents house, I've hooked up in a car park or somewhere public. If I shave my legs or wax my bikini line, it's obviously for my lover. I barely get any time alone and he has set up hidden recording devices around the house. One day, he listened to an audio recording that I think was the dog snoring, and I was accused of having someone here as the noises can only have been made by someone having sex. Another day, he asked (yelled) me why I had put a video of myself having sex with my lover on his phone. He had deleted the video and couldn't show me but he says it was videoed on his phone from a site like YouPorn. Apparently, I have uploaded these videos of myself to youporn.

As I'm writing this, my other half is meeting with a psychiatrist. I don't know how this will play out but he agreed to go on the condition that I also go and get checked our for a personality order like bi-polar or something because he believes I'm a compulsive liar and narcissist because of what he thinks I'm doing to him. He has only really gone to prove that I have a problem so I don't think it's going to help. I will post updates as events unfold. At this stage, I don't believe we have a future and we are planning to separate. Main reason is that I just can't deal with it anymore. I have not done a single thing wrong, yet I feel guilty every time I do something that he may read something into. I feel unloved, disrespected, emotionally drained and my health hasn't been great since this all started. I think we are at the point of having a very toxic relationship and it's not doing either of us any good. I guess the most frustrating thing for me is the no-end arguments where he keeps telling me that 'he knows what's going on' and there is nothing wrong with him at all.
SshhBear
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue May 14, 2019 2:02 am
Local time: Mon Aug 26, 2019 3:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Postby SshhBear » Thu May 23, 2019 1:33 am

A week after the psychiatrist appointment and I haven't really gotten much information about how it went though, the psych has scheduled an appointment for me to come in at hubby's next appointment. We both had individual appts with our relationship counsellor yesterday and she advised me (and said she also advised him) that due to the toxic nature of our relationship, if something doesn't give, she is going to have to get Child Protection involved. She is encouraging me to move out or make him move out though this isn't something he would ever do. I sat him down when I got home and we discussed the planned separation. I told him that I'm moving out asap and the kids will have their home base with me but he can see them whenever he wants. Naturally this wasn't taken very well and a huge argument followed.

I am extremely confused now. He is now trying to convince me that the affair he has accused me of having has never really been the problem. The problem is that he believes someone is stalking around our house and has been in our house and if I know nothing about it, then it must be someone who means harm. I tried to rationalize with him on this. Nothing has been stolen and no property damage except for a couple of half dead plants outside have happened. Why would someone be stalking us? Why haven't our cameras caught this person? Why haven't our neighbors seen anything? He doesn't have any answers but most of his evidence of this is all a bit fuzzy. Two things of about 20 could mean someone has been hanging around but someone is home here 95% of the time, so it all sounds a bit unlikely. The two things are quite substantial.
1. He has an outdoor camera he had placed around the side of the house. One day he brought it in (only out for a day) and he discovered the memory card was missing. Obviously this is sus but it disappeared when we were home and it's weird that the camera didn't get taken as well as it was just sitting there. There are only 3 possibilities:
- Around that day the electric meter checking guy was around. The camera was on the meter box. We have some junk in that part of the yard. Perhaps he was poking around the junk and realised the camera was there and took the card so we didn't see what he was doing.
- Hubby forgot to put the card in - they are very tiny and would be easy to misplace
- Someone is stalking us

2. Some of our outdoor downlights (solar) have switches on them that have apparently been turned off.

No idea about either of these two things but as mentioned, these are the only two substantial things he has seen. The rest are as stated in the first post but include plants that have half died, footsteps around the side (pretty much proved to be our large dog), solar light falling off the gutter, small bit of wood falling off the top of the front deck, puddle on the front deck, side fence has started leaning a bit. He says there's lots of other things but hasn't actually told me them.

Anyway, I don't know whether he is just scrambling with this new revelation (about the problem not being me potentially having an affair) to keep me here or whether I'm going mad and I've been dwelling for a long time on the accusations and I'm the one who has kept it going. Logic tells me that I'm not going mad because he often splurts random accusations though often quite cryptic. Eg "You like your men BIG" (Hubby is not particularly tall but he is lean and fit) or "The door handle is warm as if you've been hanging on to it watching for me to come home (sometimes he'll say that I'm being mounted by my other man while hanging onto it). I think I've become a bit acclimatized to the comments now because when I read back that last comment, I realize how disgustingly sick it sounds.
SshhBear
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue May 14, 2019 2:02 am
Local time: Mon Aug 26, 2019 3:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Postby Alexicon » Sun Jun 30, 2019 4:24 pm

Thanks for sharing your story, SshhBear; it has common elements with many of the stories that have been posted here over the years. I'm sorry that you're going through this. I think that at this point a divorce--and moving away from your husband--will give you both some peace.

From the stories I've read here, it seems that a very tiny few have made recoveries. Usually with a combination of medication and therapy. However, the obstacle to this treatment is "lack of insight" which accompanies DD. It's the inability for a DD sufferer to recognize that something's wrong with his or her thinking. Like your husband they think "there's nothing wrong with me", and they refuse to accept medication. If he won't accept medication, then there is NOTHING further you can do to help him. You can't fix him. At this point, you can only help yourself. You can do this by minimizing your contact with him; this will reduce your own anxiety that is caused by his behavior.
Alexicon
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2014 1:52 am
Local time: Mon Aug 26, 2019 5:05 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Postby SshhBear » Mon Jul 15, 2019 1:58 am

Update. I bought another house and moved out of our family home 2 days ago. I cried a lot the last few weeks because I really didn't want to leave him. I had to for my own sake - I was getting more and more depressed and he interpreted my mental state as me having doubts as to whether I was doing the right thing. I know I did the right thing but it doesn't make it any easier. I don't know whether my current emotional state is due to this unresolved thing hanging over my head or because I grieving over my lost love.

I am doing most things right though yesterday we sent each other a lot of silly flirty texts. I miss my husband but if I was still in the house, I would still miss him because he doesn't trust me or look at me with love anymore.

Good news is that the psychiatrist prescribed Respiridon and while he ignored the prescription for the first couple of weeks, he did fill it and has been taking his tablets and has been to the psychiatrist 3 times with a 4th appt scheduled in 11 days time. I hope he goes. At the second visit, the psych told him that it's a pretty good bet that he has a mental health condition and privately told me that delusional jealousy was the likely culprit. Hubby doesn't believe still. The Risperidon isn't helping unfortunately. He took a low dose for the first couple of weeks (1mg) but now I think he's up to 3 or 4 mg. Hasn't had any impact - his beliefs may have actually become more concrete and he doesn't want me to talk about it to him at all. I understand that not talking about it would be better for him but god help me, I need closure. My moral compass is soooo strong and it makes me crazy knowing that someone in this world, worst still the person who knows me best believes I would do something like this. It's eating me up.

I'm going to start daily yoga and meditation as soon as I have my boxes unpacked because I really need to find inner peace with this thing. At several times during my ordeal, I locked myself in our bathroom and curled up on the floor in complete despair. Luckily I never felt suicidal but I did have fleeting thoughts in times when I felt everything was hopeless. So glad I made it out while I still had a shred of sanity.

I'll update in another week or so. On a lighter note, after a particularly sad day last week, I was curious just how my body could keep producing tears and nose goop. I collected three of my tissues and weighed them. 400g! Wow! No wonder my skin looks dry at the moment. I must have cried kilos over the last year :)

PS If anyone is going through the same thing, drop me a line for a chat if you need someone to talk to. I am still on my journey despite moving out and I would love to help anyone who wants a mutually beneficial sounding board.
SshhBear
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue May 14, 2019 2:02 am
Local time: Mon Aug 26, 2019 3:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Postby SshhBear » Tue Jul 23, 2019 7:00 am

Having a bad day today. Actually, most days are bad. I am so miserable without him but know we can't be together anymore. I think the thing that is making me so sad is that I honestly thought he would come to his senses at some stage after i moved out, search his soul for the truth, then smother me with apologies for the way he has treated me before begging me to come back. Wow! I was living in a dream world, wasn't I? The reality is that his medication is for 'making him feel better and getting rid of the constant butterflies in his stomach' according to him whereas I was hopeful that it would make him think clearer and see the truth. I suppose he's right but in the meantime, he still thinks there's nothing wrong with him, I'm still a cheating, lying s%$t I have no company at all for 4 days every week and I'm obsessing over the whole thing. Worst of all, after I stood by this behaviour for 2 solid years, he's not here for me when I am literally falling apart. I can't talk to any friends about it because that would be speaking against him to common friends/family, I can't talk to my sister because she's been my sounding board and is sick of hearing about it and if I try to talk to him, he thinks I'm pathetic and tells me he's losing more respect for me each time I bring it up.

I know that no one is going to ride up on a while horse and make everything better, but at this stage, I would be happy with a small pony coming to the rescue. I don't know if I'll be ok. I'm seeing a counsellor but she's away until early August. I probably need to go to the drs and discuss depression but that is not my style at all. I had post natal depression with my second child and I managed to pull myself out of it without medication and I'm hoping I can do the same this time. I really don't want any medication to fix me. I just want my husband back. And that puts me between a rock and a hard place because in the .01% chance he comes back from his delusional state and I let him, my family and few friends won't accept my decision due to what they think of him now. I've always made a point of telling them it's not his fault - it's the illness - but he hasn't always been a good partner and they are happy that I've finally left him.

I'm just rambling today, sorry. It has just been such a hard thing to deal with.
SshhBear
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue May 14, 2019 2:02 am
Local time: Mon Aug 26, 2019 3:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Postby sanmom3 » Tue Jul 23, 2019 4:37 pm

Hi SshhBear,
I'm sorry you are going through this. But I think you absolutely did the right thing in leaving. From reading about this illness over the last decade since my mom's brain went haywire, very few are able to see that they have the illness. And my mom has gotten much worse.

My mom's suspicions are continual, no matter where she is, whether at home or visiting someone, and have gotten even stronger. Her delusions change and morph and she still rewrites conversations and occurrences, even ones she had a previous story for, they are now even more different.

She has also now developed auditory and olfactory hallucinations, where she thinks her ex-husband (she hasn't even seen him in 7 years) is blowing a toxic vapor into her apartment, and he's also whistling or singing nearby, just to drive her crazy. In reality, he is now elderly and lives over 2 hours away. I tried telling her that, but now she says he's in her apartment building while using a walker. I dread the days that I visit with her when she says she "has to tell me what's been going on". She calls the police occasionally to report the "break-ins". The police have spoken with me and they have her on their crisis care list. She totally thinks they believe her. I know they are just trained to not refute a person with delusions.

At the beginning, her delusions were jealousy-type. She accused her then-husband of having multiple affairs all over the place, once following him to the gym, and she wanted to confront a lady down the hall. Later, she began thinking he was going through her papers, and then later she began thinking he wanted to harm her.

Anyway, I'm telling you this not to alarm anyone, but just to describe the progression this illness can take. We were so hopeful in the beginning when she had a hospital episode and was diagnosed, and was seeing a mental health person for quite a while, but her delusions never went away.

It took us a few years to sort of fully realize our mom is permanently ill, and for the angst and stress over it all to dissipate. I saw a counselor for a while, just to come to grips with it, and to help establish my boundaries. I've spoken with a couple attorneys and mental health experts, and all have said there's nothing I can do. I consider my job now just to make sure she's okay, and we see her and try to be nice, but we limit the conversation topics, and limit the time we spend with her. It's all super sad.

I hope you find peace, and someone or a mental health group to talk to. It's hard when this illness is so rare, with the seriously mentally ill person able to function otherwise, that others really can't understand what you're going through.
sanmom3
Consumer 3
Consumer 3
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Thu May 03, 2012 7:38 pm
Local time: Sun Aug 25, 2019 9:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Postby Faithfullyfedup » Wed Jul 24, 2019 1:33 pm

Hi Sshbear, I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone and you are moving in the right direction. Your story is my story (almost word for word). I too have just made the decision to put myself and my children first and move out. It was too toxic. It never stopped. I am exhausted trying to defend myself and i am now at the point where i just loose my $#%^ at him whenever he brings up an accusation. So it was time to go. I told him I havent given up on him and I'll be here waiting for him when he can see things for what they really are. I know that my never happen. And I know my marriage is most likely over but I realise now after struggling and being tormented for 3 years that nothing i say or do will change my husbands mind about what I havent done. And I am slowly coming to the conclusion that my husband will never forgive me for something I didnt do. Its heartbreaking.
I finally made the decision to get professional help for him and as of today it is completely out of my hands. He works away week on week off and last night shift he dudnt sleep for 3 days and completely went off the rails. Told me to ###$ off and get out of the house, that he loved me but I didnt deserve him and he was gone. Hes never said that and a big red flag went off in my head. "I need to save my husband from himself - this really has nothing to do with me" so I made the decision to call our local mental health community clinic.

I told them my story of secret cameras, tracking my car, cloning my phone, the hours upon hours of studying the recordings, the 2 years of unemployment, the not coping with life, the daily wild accusations and imagined scenarios etc and the newest finding. METH.

My husband was a pot smoker too and in searching for answers I tricked him into a urine test. He failed miserably and I was heartbroken. .. but it explained alot of his behaviours. Alot but not all. Here I was being accused of being a liar and a sneak, all the while my husband was sneaking ice into our house .. and I was unknowingly buying it for him. So right now, as we speak a revision board is being assembled to assess my case and within the next 7 days my husband will have his rights taken away from him and he will be taken by ambulance to the hospital to be assessed and treated. I feel sick about it. I want to throw up. I know he will see this as the ultimate betrayal but I know I've exhausted all other options.

This man is destroying himself, his family, his marriage and his career and I've been sitting there hopelessly fighting a battle I CAN NOT WIN. I know that things have not gotten better, I have tried being patient, understanding, silent. I have tried reasoning, common sense, begging, threatening and now all I'm left with is the realization that this is beyond his and my control.

I love this man with all my heart. I would never dream of cheating on him. Ever. Period. But this is not the man I married and I cant stay with him the way he is as I'm his trigger and he is destroying me. The ironic thing is that although he will see this as the ultimate betrayal it is in actual fact the ultimate act of love. I know I'm sacrificing my marriage to try and save this beautiful man. Hopefully one day he will understand.

If there is one piece of advice I can give. Remember that this actually isnt about you. And you will only destroy yourself trying to fix it on your own. If you believe his delusions are plummeting him into a depression, get him help and let them take it out of your hands then be kind to yourself and talk to a professional about the HELL you have been through (because it is a living hell) and no one goes through this unscathed.
Xo
Faithfullyfedup
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2019 12:27 pm
Local time: Mon Aug 26, 2019 3:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Postby SshhBear » Tue Jul 30, 2019 6:24 am

Thank you beautiful people for your replies. It's so heartbreaking isn't it? I have tried to enlist members of my husband's family to help and they are really supportive when I call them but then I don't hear back from them so I don't know if he convinces them of 'what he knows' and then they don't bother getting back in touch or if it's because they just can't be bothered with it all. I have thought about trying to get myself into a 'rebound' relationship just to distract myself from obsessing over what I haven't tried yet. I have even pulled out an old deck of tarot cards (with no experience or knowledge aside from a quick google) to get answers and they appear to be freakishly right every time though of course, they can be interpretted to whatever fits a person's circumstances. Don't judge me for going spiritual - I will try just about anything at this stage.

Faithfullyfedup, did you have any luck with showing him similar stories on forums such as this? I find when reading other people's stories, some delusions seem to be the norm. Eg
- The middle of the night meetings with these lovers
- The hyper vigilance etc
- Limiting their other half's movements
- Blaming the other person of having mental health problems etc
- Thinking the other person is lying about everything

I have also thought about calling the hospital to take him for an assessment but he smokes daily and because of it, he is calm most of the time. If anything it's me who loses the plot when we argue. I never really felt there was a right time. I might make some enquiries about triggers to watch for in terms of getting him help. He's still taking Respiridon (or says he is) but he did tell me that after his last psychiatrist appointment he probably won't go back.

Faithfullyfedup, how did you go with him being taken away? Did it happen? Also what about your kids? The best I could convince him of was 50/50 shared care so this is in place now but I do worry a little about the kids. They are 12 and 14 so not silly and they know the basics around what is going on, but really don't want to know anything else which is good. They love their dad and he loves them with all his heart so I believe they are safe. I guess my only concern is knowing how this condition can escalate. Originally I put my foot down and insisted I have them 4 nights but because 'there's nothing wrong with him' he stomped on that after the first week and pressured me into the 50/50. While I do love him, he has always had a knack for being quite intimidating and I'm a people pleaser so that makes it hard to stand my ground with things like this.

I had one conversation a month ago when I asked him when the last time he thinks I was with this lover and he said it was two nights ago. I said "Really? Because I've been on my period for the last 3 days" and he knows that my first 3-5 days are insanely heavy. His reply was, "Yeah but that doesn't bother this bloke!" Never mind that it would bother me.

I find that now, when we talk on the phone, he will tell me that I am the only person who can fix the problem (unsaid: by ending the affair and not lying anymore) and if I try to reason with him, he tells me that he is losing more and more respect for me every time we discuss it. He says he just wants me to come clean and stop living my life as a big lie. He sent me a text a couple of days ago telling me that he thinks I'm like a gay person who hasn't come out yet and is struggling with the decisions I've made. Oh my god! It is so, so, so frustrating!!!!
SshhBear
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue May 14, 2019 2:02 am
Local time: Mon Aug 26, 2019 3:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Postby SshhBear » Sun Aug 11, 2019 2:24 am

So, my husband gave me permission to speak with his psychiatrist. The psychiatrist confirmed that he hasn't given my husband a diagnosis because he didn't want him to leave and not come back. Confirmed psychosis and ddj and told me to not consider reconciling. He said he won't get better without treatment and because my husband has stopped attending appointments, I am welcome to tell him the diagnosis in the hopes that he comes back. Problem is that my husband told me I am never again to bring up the subject of mental health or delusional jealousy. I plan to share the info but just need to find the right time.

I spent the night with him last night (just company, nothing else) though I did think for a long time on whether I was putting myself at risk in doing this. I was pretty certain it would be ok except for making the emotional ties more difficult to break. It was nice though and we didn't speak of anything unpleasant. I know it was probably a silly choice but it's done now.

I'll keep updating as things go. I know this condition has a small number that make a full recovery but I do still have hope because this very stubborn man has made difficult, positive changes in the past when at crossroads in life.
SshhBear
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue May 14, 2019 2:02 am
Local time: Mon Aug 26, 2019 3:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Postby Faithfullyfedup » Sun Aug 11, 2019 12:31 pm

Hi Sshbear, sorry for the late response, it's been a hectic week. So from my last post, I managed to hold mental health off from taking him.... he sucks me in every time I see him (I check he is ok constantly- big mistake) he found his own psychologist and did attend his appointment but I went away to visit family with the kids and he couldnt handle it. He called me in hysterics saying he had found a video on my laptop of 5 guys in our room and 2 girls with dildos and d***ks and one guy was holding a shot gun while I was with someone on the bed. Insane.

I called mental health that morning and he was picked up the next day. Today was the first day I saw him. Absolutely broke my heart. All he did was plead for me to get him out which I cant do. He has absolutely no idea why he is there.... but in the next breath he was questioning me about why I had 5 guys in our room and how cruel I am. He needs to be there. Its literally like a jail, but it has to be, he was already asking me to lie for him and bring a disguise in for him to sneak out. But it does work. He hates it so much that he is willingly taking all the meds to get out.

They believe he will be non compliant when he leaves in a few weeks as he has zero insight so his meds will be administered by needle at the hospital. If he doesn't show up the police bring him in. He will most likely be under the mental health act for years but if this is what it takes to get him better so he isnt living a hell every day it's worth it. Might cost me my marriage but it was doomed anyway.

There is absolutely no shot in hell of fixing this yourself. The doctors said that answering or feeding into his delusions is really detrimental as it concrete in their mind that they have reason to be concerned. It's so hard to stop defending but it's getting easier to steer him away from it.
It's a massive relief knowing that he is eating, sleeping and safe. Hes on anti psychotic meds and is heavily sedated which makes seeing him alot easier as he is alot calmer to talk too now.

Its heart breaking and so so sad seeing him literally drinking out of a paper cup and walking around barefoot in a maximum security section but truly, the only other option is to give up on him because I cant help (and my patience is now zero) and watch him self destruct. I love him way too much to do that.

For the first time I have a little bit of hope. I sent him a heap of reading material about delusional jealousy disorder and he literally said these people are crazy, I'm nothing like them stop putting a label on me and refused to talk about it. Our kids are 9 & 13, they both adore him but both understand that he isnt dad at the moment. They wont be seeing him while he is in there but they know he needs meds to get better.
I've got everything crossed that this will work. I had my first real glimpse of insight today when I said that he needs to accept the possiblity that he could be hearing and seeing things that arnt there. He said if I'm wrong, and my mind is playing tricks on me I'm truly sorry for everything I've done to you and I'll spend a lifetime making it up to you. I will hold onto that sentence forever.
Faithfullyfedup
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Jul 04, 2019 12:27 pm
Local time: Mon Aug 26, 2019 3:05 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Next

Return to Delusional Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests