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Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

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Re: Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Postby Faithfullyfedup » Sun Aug 11, 2019 12:40 pm

Oh and also.. it doesn't matter that hes calm when the hospital assess him. You speak to them first, give them the timeline of when it all started and what hes been doing. They understand how convincing they are.. their delusional so it's totally real to them. I also made it very clear that I am the one loosing my $#%^ because I cant deal with it anymore, it's completely reasonable to loose your $#%^! They do a risk assessment first based on the answers you give. My husband hit every red flag - firearms licences, stalking & hidden surveillance, drug and alcohol abuse, jealously and children in the house. Not a good combination. When you write it all down on paper and leave the emotions of the man you once knew out of it, you will clearly see what you need to do :)
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Re: Husband with Delusional Jealousy - no hope?

Postby SshhBear » Wed Aug 14, 2019 12:36 am

He said if I'm wrong, and my mind is playing tricks on me I'm truly sorry for everything I've done to you and I'll spend a lifetime making it up to you. I will hold onto that sentence forever.

Faithfullyfedup, your sentence above - started bawling as soon as I read it. I think that is the hardest thing for me. After all the hurtful things my hubby has said to me over the last two years and that one sentence would make the world of difference. I'm torn between wanting to hate him over the things he's said and wanting to care for him so he can get better but at the end of the day, people can only make positive changes themselves. I can only keep helping for so long especially while he's in denial.

Our relationship is in limbo at the moment. Still hug and kiss (not mushy kisses) and still a bit of light flirting but at the end of the day, I know I can't continue hanging on or letting him hang on.

I know it's the illness that is behind the hurtful things he says but then, I also feel that some of the comments tell me so much about my man. He has had a roaming eye more than once in the past and at one stage got to the point where he went somewhere to meet up with someone he met online. She didn't go so nothing happened but if she had shown, he would have cheated. I was hurt and felt betrayed but I didn't drag the whole thing out for a long time and certainly never said horrible, disgusting, hurtful things to him. Yes, the trust was gone for a long time and he had to work to get me back onside but I forgave him and still treated him with kindness. With this DDJ thing, I've been hung, drawn and quartered and left to die over and over. It sort of says to me that if he can treat me so badly over something that he has no proof I've done, is he even worth my time and effort? Again, I know it's the illness but I just don't think I would have it in me to say some of the things he has said....ever. I've seen this side of him before with my eldest son who was extremely challenging to raise. I have seen him be verbally cruel to my son but when you have a delinquent son who is constantly in trouble with the school, neighbours, police etc, it was difficult to know at the time if he was being cruel or just using desperate parenting tactics.
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