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Wife has dd any help is appreciated

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Re: Wife has dd any help is appreciated

Postby Husbandofddwife » Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:25 pm

Update. Well, as usual after the highlight at night, the let down during the day. I was thrilled that my wife called me today. Or I was. All these loving things that I feel and say and then she says I love you but your my third. So I said who is a head of me
? She said “ him”. Even though it’s an illness it feels just as bad the 100 th time as it did the first. Why can’t I accept this? Every time I say enough of this crap, I push it back further. This is pure torment .
Thanks
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Re: Wife has dd any help is appreciated

Postby Husbandofddwife » Sun Sep 30, 2018 3:47 am

Wife was released Thursday. Much not improved thinks she is mother god /ave Maria / evita. She announced to me that she must continue her work. No more meds. It’s screwing her abilities up. The judge felt that he should dismiss the case. Not one person consulted me. I went to the hospital 10 times. Not once was I given any insight into her disorder. So basically if she decides to murder me in my sleep it will be not guilty for her. ( she hasn’t threatened me) . Her family won’t take her, the mental institution doesn’t want her. So I leave her homeless. I cannot do that. That is sick. These people are either a) sociopaths b) incompetent c) combo. I pick c . Who would do this? I say no offense because what I am about to say is slightly racist sorry. The doctor is from India. Do you know how much guff it takes to go to a foreign country/ have limited knowledge of the country/ family life/ ethics/ belief system/our religious habits / jokes etc and attempt to in any way counsel a patient in a non bio chemical way. We all are aren’t the same. All the workers are Jamaican. Nurses etc.. these people have seen miserable poverty. They got out. The doctor got out. India is not known as a country of strong belief in do unto others. That’s fine. But not as a state dr. They still have untouchables. Please tell me I’m wrong. Please tell me that some super smart man or woman decided this was our best option. Just explain why we have only one major catholic hospital. Mother Theresa had to go to Calcutta because the country of India does not give a $#%^. Anyways sorry about the rant. I don’t get it. I just really don’t get this sort of stupidity. Please prove me wrong.
Call me an idiot because ??!!!!!
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Re: Wife has dd any help is appreciated

Postby Lost0206 » Mon Oct 01, 2018 12:10 am

Just a note to let you know you are not alone. I can't begin to imagine the pain you are going through; is there any way you can find a therapist for you to talk with? Because this is a huge burden to shoulder alone.
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Re: Wife has dd any help is appreciated

Postby Husbandofddwife » Mon Oct 01, 2018 1:34 am

Well dday +3 for me. My wife has taken this to a different plane. I am no longer allowed to speak to her family. I’m not allowed to ever call the police or mental health help again. Beth’s exact words were if you do call” I’ll have you locked up in jail forever. I’ll make something up. You have no family and nobody will care”. Her expression changed and she said because I’m in love and your my family.” No more meds for her. She says that I’m crazy and am trying to hurt her relationship with her family. So basically, I have to be quiet, live with somebody who thinks they are mother god and if I tell she will make it look like I committed a crime and try to have me locked up.basically she wants to ruin me either way. I’m screwed. Any suggestions?
This is nuts. I have no where to turn.
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Re: Wife has dd any help is appreciated

Postby Alexicon » Tue Oct 02, 2018 1:48 am

I am so sorry you're going through this. I don't know what to say.

She has a disease, but the illness is hurting you, too. The stress, the helplessness. From what you describe, it sounds like you're being verbally/mentally abused. Can you afford to move out of the home?

If you do move out, let her family know what's going on, and let them know where they can find her. You can still offer to be her friend, but set boundaries. One 15-minute phone call a day. If she insults you, then end the call. If she won't take her medication, there there's nothing more you can do to help her.

And I think you need to let the police know what's going on. Tell them everything. Get them to write it down. Even if they can't or won't do anything, then you'll at least know you tried.

-- Tue Oct 02, 2018 1:49 am --

I am so sorry you're going through this. I don't know what to say.

She has a disease, but the illness is hurting you, too. The stress, the helplessness. From what you describe, it sounds like you're being verbally/mentally abused. Can you afford to move out of the home?

If you do move out, let her family know what's going on, and let them know where they can find her. You can still offer to be her friend, but set boundaries. One 15-minute phone call a day. If she insults you, then end the call. If she won't take her medication, there there's nothing you can do to help her.

And I think you need to let the police know what's going on. Tell them everything. Get them to write it down. Even if they can't or won't do anything, then you'll at least know you tried.
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Re: Wife has dd any help is appreciated

Postby WifeofDD » Tue Feb 12, 2019 4:50 pm

Hi,
I am new to this forum. My (now-Ex) husband also has DD. I feel for you. I felt like the more I tried to get him help, the more his family ostracized me. They don't believe his diagnosis even though he has been diagnosed by a PhD psychologist and confirmed by 3 other professionals. They won't EVEN read the reports. Please know that you are not alone. I know this is like living in an insane asylum (my ex accused me of participating in bondage activities and having sex with our dog and our oldest son.) We were married for 31 years so this has been very difficult for me. He filed for divorce because I wouldn't "tell the truth" about what I had been doing.
It is good to let law enforcement know what is going on (if you haven't already.) I hope you can afford to move away from her as it does not look like this is going to improve and it appears to be affecting your mental health. You need to take care of yourself also.

I have been exposed to many types of mental illnesses with my adopted kids but this is by far the most grueling and heartbreaking situation. I have had to give up on getting my ex help as I have tried everything I can think of (including attempting to have him involunarily committed.) I have to find a way to let it go and know that I tried my best. If something bad happens to him, it will be on HIS family who chose not to help him and instead supported his delusions about me.
Hang in there! I hope this helps to know that you are not alone.
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Re: Wife has dd any help is appreciated

Postby Husbandofddwife » Sun Apr 14, 2019 4:43 am

It’s been six months since posting here. I hope all of you are at least treading water. That’s all you can do. I met the most beautiful woman 2 weeks ago. She and I have talked and become friends. I told her about my ex wife and for some reason, she allowed me to take her out. We went to dinner and I enjoyed every minute of it. Fast forward a week and she confided in me that she has battled schizophrenia for 7 years. This woman is not stereotypical at all. Drop dead gorgeous and sweet. But the story of her journey was so paralyzingly real and relatable it made me want to post. I am trying to convince her that many people would love to know the battle that their loved one is fighting. But I worry. I worry that asking her to share might reignite the old disease. But she is a determined and strong woman. She has stared the devil in the face and walked away.
My ex is doing horribly. I get updates via her family and they aren’t good. But the woman I was referring to above has given me powerful insights into the thinking that is so typical of this disease. To quote her it’s like living in a play....where the background of voices is so audible , so real that engaging with them is so easily done. I’ve never played but she says it’s exactly like the sims game. She had a baby. And her custody being taken from her and her desire to protect her child was so beautifuly explained by her, it led her to seek help and start her journey back. I’m hoping that she will post here and allow others with questions about the disorder to ask.
This woman has captivated my heart.sometimes I wish a man could be given two lives. I am still in disbelief about my life and the way it exploded when this disorder struck. I love my ex , I always will. But she hates me with . It’s been weeks since I’ve talked to her . I miss her , I miss the intimacy and I’m without confidence. Christmas and thanksgiving were hard.
But now I can at least know that the war that is waging in her is more powerful than any other force to her. That it will leave her life empty so I walk in the muck of life. Literally pulling my feet up one by one to walk. I wake up and try and remember the life I had and the life I’m in.
I’m scared because her voice is becoming a faded memory. I work all the time to not think about life,

Anyways I really wanted to tell this woman thank you. For sharing her life with me. It has given me a sliver of peace to hold on to. A lighthouse to safety. Thank you beautiful woman wherever you are. I hope everybody can find some happiness in this life.
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