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Anyone on here right now dealing with DDJ partner?

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Anyone on here right now dealing with DDJ partner?

Postby exhausted37 » Thu Jun 14, 2018 7:56 am

I can't sleep. Divorcing my DDJ husband and it is so hard. I feel devastated. I know this will sound awful, but after all he has put me through, one of my concerns is a very selfish one...what if he isn't like this with someone else? What if it is just me? What if some wonderful woman falls for him and he treats her like a queen? I know that shouldn't be what I am thinking, but I am. Am I an awful person for being upset by that thought?
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Re: Anyone on here right now dealing with DDJ partner?

Postby benditos21 » Sat Jun 16, 2018 9:57 am

My husband is also DDJ and it is the hardest thing ever to deal with. I too have wondered if it is just with me, or would he be different with someone else. But the one thing I have read about is that this syndrome does not go away on its own and that he will always have it, no matter who he is with. My cousin's husband had it and they divorced. He remarried and he is doing to his second wife the same things he did with my cousin. The new wife doesn't have any independence. She barely opens her mouth when they are out she is afraid to look at anyone directly. My husband is the one who has filed for divorce twice already and then canceled it. He is always asking why we can't move far away. "Things would be better is only we moved away". But I know he would just start up again wherever we go. The triggers for his jealousy are all in our area, but he would develop new ones if we move away. Rest assured it is not YOU that created his sickness.
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Re: Anyone on here right now dealing with DDJ partner?

Postby BrokenHeartedWife » Wed Jun 20, 2018 2:47 am

Agree with what she said. My husband also has DD, multiple subtypes, and he has put me through hell - yet I don’t want a divorce, I want him to get help; but he won’t instead he abandoned me and our 4 boys and said he’s filing for divorce. Because he thinks I’m trying to kill him. But he has always blamed his problems on external circumstances and thought if he just escaped those people/places/circumstances then his problems would go away. Now the problem is me, his parents, our town, the people here so he’s left. But I know it’s not going to be any different. It’s been years he has been like this but I didn’t know what it was. I also struggle with the same thoughts, questions; especially since he developed this like 6 years into into our marriage (we will be married 13 years in a week). Like, would this have happened if he was married to someone else? I guess that’s a question I’ll never know the answer to but as far as will he be magically all better with some future partner? No way.
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