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why do you cut where you cut? TRIGGER

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Re: why do you cut where you cut? TRIGGER

Postby PerpetuallyConfused » Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:50 pm

I go to a boarding school so privacy doesn't really exist. I cut my wrist just under where my watch would be. I've started on my ribs. People have started to notice so it's gotten to the point where I need to think of a believible excuse for the cut before I actually do it. I recently found out that my friend hurt herself as well, except in light perfect lines across her hand. I can't believe that I didn't notice it before, one of my friends pointed it out to me. Needless to say everyone is super supisicous after that. Thats why I moved to my ribs because people don't instantly assume the worst like if they were on my wrists like before.
You say I'm an open book so why do you glance at my cover and assume you know my story? If I'm such a bad liar then how do I have secrets?
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Re: why do you cut where you cut? TRIGGER

Postby LowriLemon » Mon Jun 04, 2012 12:32 am

I cut my stomach nowadays, because it's easier to hide than arms.
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Re: why do you cut where you cut? TRIGGER

Postby cfit60 » Mon Jun 04, 2012 2:10 am

Is it only me, or are there others who also cut out of pure rage and hate of themselves? I also cut when I'm only upset and it helps me feel better. These cuts are much more designer style and not as deep, using a razor blade, so there are fewer scars, or at least very thin with less scar tissue.

However, there are times when I become totally enraged and the cutting is far from neat and not in any particular design or style. These become my forever scars, which often get me even more upset and angry with myself, which throws me again into this vicous cycle of rage-cut-forever scars...rage-cut-forever scars...rage-cut-forever scars, etc.. When I cut like this, I Mostly use my stomach and upper leg areas on both sides. It kinda looks like I was attacked by a lion, or that's my story anyways. I'm a red head with very pale, ivory white skin, so I don't go out in the sunlight and so I don't swim or go shirtless, ever. Only my wife has seen my forever scars and she gets upset, so I try not to be shirtless even with her. At least she knows about my cutting. She doesn't understand it and she is trying to get me to stop, which is what I want to do, but it's not that easy. I wish more people understood why we cut and made it easier for us to find a better coping mechanism.

Cheers!
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Re: why do you cut where you cut? TRIGGER

Postby AlexisLexi » Mon Jun 04, 2012 3:24 am

I cut on my thighs currently, occasionally on my hips and stomach as well. I used to cut on the outside of my arm and my shoulders but I have to wear short sleeves for work so I stopped. Most of the scars on my arms are faded and not noticeable unless you are looking for them. My thighs have really dark scars right now and I cant wear shorts anymore because of it. Mostly the places I chose were because of how easy they were to hide or how available they were when I had an urge.
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Re: why do you cut where you cut? TRIGGER

Postby maggie6max » Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:49 pm

Ct.. I cut for several reasons. Today I cut out of rage . When I cut that way I usually cut faster sloppier and continues.. making it bleed tons and burn.. I also cut when I'm depressed I'm not sure which is worse.. when I'm sad I seem to make longer deeper cuts and on places o know bleed more. Does that make sense? I have to say I have cut pretty deep on. My hip but I had kidney surgery so sometimes ay first I don't feel it then I look down and well you know..I have up use the same tools and always have one on me.. I've tried getting rid of all of them but end up having a panic attack if I know I don't have any.I worry if I ever do get any help with my pain what a new doctor would say or if I ever end up going to the hospital what they would say I've managed to hide most of them but a few have seen my wrist...
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Re: why do you cut where you cut? TRIGGER

Postby hursegurl_92 » Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:45 am

I started cutting on my bicep, then i moved to my heel cause it was easier to hide and didn't leave a scar, i currently cut on my hip cause i wear filp-flops now. there is a lightning storm going on right now
Cowgirls don't cry
Ride, baby, ride
Lessons in life are going to show you in time
Soon enough your gonna know why
It's gonna hurt every now and then
If you fall get back on again
Cowgirls don't cry
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Re: why do you cut where you cut? TRIGGER

Postby cfit60 » Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:00 am

Maggie,

I'm really worried about you. Please tell your hubby how much pain you are in and what you do to try and cope with the pain. I hope he is supportive and together you can find the help necessary to manage your pain and your cutting. If you don't do it for yourself, do it for your kids sake...

As messed up as my own life is and that I'm almost certain I will be returning to the hospital due to my suicidal thoughts...I worry more for you. I just got my hospital bill from the first 16 day stay in the Psychiatric Unit and it is over $25,000.00! I just hope my second stay is not as long and it can really help me resolve some of my issues. I'm so sick and tired of being all doped up all the time.

Today I wanted to cut, but I just didn't have the energy. I had one doctor's appt. today and I almost over slept! After the appt. I drove home and crashed...I didn't do a darn thing...I took a 2 hour "nap" and woke up from that even more exhausted! WTF! Tmw I have my Psychiatrist appt. and hope to discuss my lack of energy, interest, meaning, purpose... I often cut to feel something, even pain...currently I don't feel anything, I'm numb to life...

To all the cutters out there...take it one day at a time...start with tmw and take the day off from cutting. Next, try taking two days off from cutting, then three... If you cut, start over, but never give up...find a friend who is willing to help you quit. Just make it your goal (and mine) is to quit!

Cheers!

Charles
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Re: why do you cut where you cut? TRIGGER

Postby maggie6max » Tue Jun 05, 2012 4:51 am

Thanks ct.. hubby has heard enough of my pain.. he is at a loss as financially we are basically screwed.. are you saying tell him of my cutting cause of pain?oh no no no.. been threw that once did not go well.. I just live in my own little box of hell....I do tell my doctor AMD he knows that I cut cause of pain.. he is trying very hard to help me nut I've been through so many meds and have no insurance.. we are just now financially getting back on our feet o don't want to mess that up.. pain wise today wad real bad. I didn't realize that o had cut over 50x.... Do you have any relief from fibro?,lyrica made me terribly sick. But as I said allefs have been just a try to see if anything works.. still no dx...I can't even sleep my leg hurts so bad.. I just keep taking all these pills tramadol helps a little for back. Then I've been on lots of ms relaxers.this can't be good for...I have to be careful with tramadol cause it cam bring out an angry side.. have you ever tried medical marijuana? I heard its good for fibro.. I guess I figure if its fibro or ms it'll only get worse and I may be able to getocare help once my left leg is completely useless.. Idk what else can I do and no I'm sorry hubby isn't going to know....if I told him of my suicidal thoughts and that o actually have it planned out. O it just wouldnt be good. You take Care of yourself hom but I really think yourefs are messing with your moods!
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Re: why do you cut where you cut? TRIGGER

Postby Xxi_love_youxX » Thu Jun 07, 2012 3:28 pm

I cut my wrists because it's the easiest place to watch the blood drip. I also cut my upper left thigh because there's a vein and it's easy to hide.
"I'd rather hate you hate me for everything I am than ever love me for something that I'm not. It's never enough for you. I'll never be enough for you."
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Re: why do you cut where you cut? TRIGGER

Postby Marc420 » Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:19 pm

I started with my upper arms because I could hide the cuts with short sleeve shirts but then I ran out of space so I moved to my left forearm. Bad move, now I always need to wear long sleeve stuff to hide the scars.
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