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Teens, how did your parents react?

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Re: Teens, how did your parents react?

Postby never_enough42 » Mon Apr 25, 2011 2:05 am

I was 14/15 when I started cutting. 9th grade -- now in 11th.
I cut when i can't deal with things. Fights, yelling, arguments, lot's of things set me off..

My mom recently found out because 2 of my best friends found out and told the school counselor, who called my church pastor, who then called my mom. Long chain before anyone told me what was happening.

My mom right away told me she loved me and was there for me... my dad doesnt know (they're divorced). She's all of a sudden in my business too. She told me I need to get rid of anything i ever used to hurt me with. She can't even say cutting. And if she does, she can barely whisper it.. That just makes me feel worse.

When she didn't know.. i wasn't putting her through any more pain. Now, I'm the cause of her tears every night..
Burden:.:Alone:.: Depressed:.:Confused:.:Cutter
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Re: Teens, how did your parents react?

Postby Alone_again » Sat May 21, 2011 8:55 pm

My mom only found out recently when I broke down and confessed. Both my parents are always really understanding so they handled it ok. Mom got a bit upset because the bipolar runs in her side of the family and I think it brought back of her brother who regularly slit his wrists and eventually jumped in front of a train. Anyway, mom immediately took me to the councellor and got an appointment. Dad was also really good and just asked me why I feel so depressed but I don't think he knows I SH. Whatever harsh words your parents may say to you, they only say it because they love you and want to protect you. You have to try to break the cycle. Good luck
Look at the scars on my body,
Left behind by the blade,
All self-inflicted,
To take away the pain.

---Alone_again




Of all the things I've lost,
I miss my mind the most.
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Re: Teens, how did your parents react?

Postby SilentRose » Mon May 23, 2011 3:30 am

My mom...was...there really isn't a way to describe it.

I was at the doctor's office, I don't remember why she was in the room when I got a flu shot but she was...and she walked out of the room as soon as the nurse left. I followed her out, could feel my heart pounding in my chest, feel my world tilting on its axis. I pleaded with her to believe me when I said that I had fallen on concrete. I didn't care if anyone else heard, all I could do was grab her, make her look at me. She just kept saying that falls don't cause scars like that. And I just kept drowning.

We never really talked about it again. I still can't say the word "cut" without flinching. I can't say it out loud, I can't talk about it with anyone...so we pretend that it's not there.

A few weeks ago we were talking about why I simply cannot find a shrink that helps (though that might be changing....fingers crossed!) and I snapped that the one shrink she thought was good hurt me. My mother looked at me and said, "Because she asked you about cutting."

And I felt sick.

So...yeah. All in all, the reaction from my mother was not good at all, though I suppose it could have been worse. I think she handled some things badly - she had found out about my cutting nearly a year before and we both pretended it didn't exist and I think she thought it just went away. Big shocker there - it didn't.

Anyway....sorry for the long rambling post.

Best wishes,

Rose
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Re: Teens, how did your parents react?

Postby skiriya » Sat May 28, 2011 3:15 pm

I know that they know I cutting myself, but they never reacted anyway. They know my other problems and I think that they know that there's nothing what they can do about it... and that's good.. really good.
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Re: Teens, how did your parents react?

Postby Lionleo16 » Mon Jul 15, 2013 7:10 am

Well my bother found my arm bandaged one day he asked me what it was I said it was nothing, then one day at dinner he asked how my arm was in front of my parents and they asked what was wrong I said nothing they saw my wrist had scars on it and I said it was the cat they of corse didn't believe me and yelled at me I cried for two days I stopped cutting for a month or so and then started again and now I'm afraid to tell them I started cutting again so yeah

Caitlin k
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Re: Teens, how did your parents react?

Postby lilyfairy » Mon Jul 15, 2013 12:49 pm

Hi Caitlin

I'm really sorry to hear you are struggling with this. Do you have any other support around you at the moment? Do you have or have you thought about maybe seeing a therapist to talk about what's going on for you? You sound like you could use some extra support right now. You would be more than welcome to talk here too- the people here are very supportive.

Hoping this finds you safe.

Take care
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First rule of mental health: Learn to distinguish who deserves an explanation, who deserves only one answer, and who deserves absolutely nothing.

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Re: Teens, how did your parents react?

Postby RoxieHart » Fri Jul 19, 2013 11:24 am

Sorry for how your parents have reacted Hun. When I was a teen and my mum found out she also reacted very angrily. I just don't think she could grasp an understanding of it. She's very anti mental health. I still don't think she could understand if she tried.

But not all parents are like this. Remember she's your mum and is probably finding it very difficult to accept that you do this xxx
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Re: Teens, how did your parents react?

Postby CardGamesAreMagic » Wed Jul 31, 2013 6:55 pm

Not a teen anymore but my parents found out recently... my dad called cutters 'freaks' - now he gives me looks all the times and I can't be left home alone. Going to see a therapist on Monday - which I'm nervous/excited about. But at the same time my dad is angry at me because he has to spend money on the therapist because of me...
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Re: Teens, how did your parents react?

Postby narla_hotep » Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:17 am

I've been cutting myself for years but I've always been careful to make short / oddly shaped cuts and do them in weird areas so no one would find out. A few months ago, I cut the back of my ankle and it was bleeding pretty badly, so I went to get a band-aid. But I accidentally left a bloodstain on the carpet. (dumb, I know, I should have wrapped a towel around it or something).

My dad walked by and saw it, then started banging on the door of the bathroom until I let him in. He demanded to know what happened, so I told him. He was worried about me, but mostly just shocked and surprised. He insisted on bandaging my ankle himself even though I told him I could handle it.

Then my mom showed up, and she was very disgusted with me. She said that I had no reason to do this, that I was crazy, etc. She made me rub at the bloodstain with carpet cleaner until it went away.

Ever since that night, my parents have been pretending that it never happened. Though I have noticed when I get things like cat scratches or when I occasionally still cut myself (though I am more careful and mostly make little scrapes instead of real cuts now), my mom does ask me how they happened and kind of stare me down until she decides that I'm telling the truth.

The whole thing was kind of awkward and I think they simply didn't know how to react to it. Hopefully this doesn't come back to bite me in the *** later.
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Re: Teens, how did your parents react?

Postby mental_health_needed » Fri Feb 14, 2014 2:08 am

My parents found out when my dad was snooping through my Facebook messages because he and my mother have never approved of about 50% of the things I do, even though I don't drink, smoke, do drugs or sleep around and I have a 3.5 in school. They found out about the SH and a lot of other things. For about 3 weeks, they acted like that part of my messages to my friend didn't exist, and I thought they would ignore it.

Three days later, they demanded to see the cuts, so I showed them the less serious ones on my thighs, and they freaked out. My dad was mad at first, and my mom started trying to guilt me by crying and moaning and saying it was all her fault, the same way she has with everything my whole life. They tried to send me to a therapist, but the therapist was cruel and basically said I was being a drama queen and an attention whore. My parents Didn't entirely believe me, but they made me go back. Later, my mom guilted me into showing her my arms, which were much worse.

Now, my mom can't look at me without crying or pretending too. The worst part is my dad (who I was very close to back before my parents thought I was a freak) is now super obvious about it, to the point where one of my two younger sisters has caught on. It's killing me. My sisters are my whole life, and used to look up to me. Now, the older of the two looks disappointed and like she's going to cry every time she sees me, but she never mentions it, out of shame. My youngest sister just knows I've been sad for a long time, and constantly hugs and kisses me to try and make it better, but even she has a hard time being around me, because of everybody else's blatant shame. My sisters are my whole world, and now it's like they're gone, and I just want to cut constantly, And to top it all off, my dad won't let me be by myself most of the time, because he thinks I constantly cut myself and have no self control. I just want it all to stop.
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