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How long have you not cut?

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How long have you not cut?

Postby theTaintedGirl » Tue May 26, 2020 8:13 am

Going through the different posts on this forum, I realized that all of us are going through something.
I want this topic to be a place where we can discuss the amount of time we've been clean, the length of time we haven't hurt ourselves.

I'm new on this forum, but I have been self-harming for about six years now.
BUT
The good thing right now is that I haven't done it in about 5 months and its a personal record.
I do feel like hurting myself now, but then, why not try?

How long have you not hurt yourself?
What are the challenges you've faced?

Take care everyone!
PM me if you wanna talk about anything! I'm always here for you : )
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Re: How long have you not cut?

Postby Snaga » Wed May 27, 2020 4:37 am

Hello and welcome! Congratulations, on going some time without self-harm.

It does seem to be one of those things that for me, the longer I go without doing it, generally, the easier it is to refrain from. Not that I don't get urges, from time to time.

I can't say when i last did it, which is a good thing. Probably not since sometime last year.
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Re: How long have you not cut?

Postby JackDoe » Mon Jun 15, 2020 6:16 am

7 years. i was 14 when it happened. i was caught a day later. since then i haven't done anything like that but rarely i still get urges when i don't care about what happens.
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Re: How long have you not cut?

Postby Dexace35 » Tue Mar 16, 2021 8:25 am

I first did it in November of 2014 so I would have been 22. Then I did it fairly regularly until 2017. Just felt like I ran out of room to hide it and I had two friends ask me if I did it and I lied to them. Definitely felt like it became a burden hiding the cuts, avoiding questions and looks, and lieing to people close to me. I had a minor relapse one night in early 2018, but have been clean since. I can't say I don't want to do it again, but that would be regressive of me. As a carpenter I accidentally cut myself kinda often so I kind of take it as is. I don't have the shame of doing it on purpose, but at the same time, when it happens on accident, I try to enjoy it to help keep myself from doing it purposely. Weird, I know.
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Re: How long have you not cut?

Postby Snaga » Tue Mar 16, 2021 3:25 pm

That's interesting.

Dexace35 wrote:when it happens on accident, I try to enjoy it to help keep myself from doing it purposely. Weird, I know


I am completely not wired that way.

I don't cut- I never have, I would inflict usually minor (but numerous) burns. If I burn myself by accident, I have absolutely no inclination to try and get gratification out of it. It bloody well hurts! In the wrong way. And being unintentional it means nothing. In fact, if I went crazy with the rubber-band-on-the-wrist thing as a deterrent, when I was heavy into SH... it hurt more than the majority of my self-inflicted burns- but did not satisfy at all- it had to be my brand of burns, inflicted in the right places, in the right sequence. I'm OCD and definitely had a ritual on how I had to SH for it to be 'right'. The only deterrent that worked for me, wound up being fear of discovery. Once I got out of the habit, it's been fairly easy to remain that way and probably would, even if discovery was no longer an issue. I've simply feel out of the habit of doing it. Not the habit of thinking I need to do it... that still remains. Just that I don't bother to actually do it, any more.
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Re: How long have you not cut?

Postby Dexace35 » Wed Mar 17, 2021 5:29 am

I think I like seeing the blood more than the pain or the action. I never did like cutting myself. But when I did do it, I wanted to see blood more than I wanted to feel pain. And on that note I better forget about it. I been clean for 3 years. Not gonna lie I have had an urge lately because I'm totally clean now and my scars are only recognisable to myself. Like a clean slate really...

But I would be stupid to do it now, now that I've been clean for so long, but especially because it will be getting warm and friends will be wanting to come out soon.
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Re: How long have you not cut?

Postby CammieMe » Fri Apr 09, 2021 8:37 am

Glad to hear that you are doing well as I could imagine it's hard to get out of that darkness. But hey you were able to do it. So congratulations. Keep it up and I'm wishing you well!
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