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first relapse in 4 years

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first relapse in 4 years

Postby iamme333 » Mon Oct 01, 2018 6:20 am

I cut for the first time in 4 years. I feel ashamed and lost and honestly scared bc this is BY FAR the deepest one yet. *mod edit* I am taking care of it how I have all previous cuts but holy $#%^ it hurts. *mod edit* other superficial cuts accompanied it, healing nicely but man am I worried about this one. It was done when very very very drunk, motivations are foggy at best but I’ve gone to my first AA meeting in a long time as a result so at least something good has come of it. Idk I’ve never turned to a forum like this but I don’t want to talk to my loved ones about it bc they went through hell getting me though this the first time
Last edited by Snaga on Mon Oct 01, 2018 5:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: in the SI forum we avoid exact details on level of damage, number of cuts, to avoid triggering others into cutting, thanks
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Re: first relapse in 4 years

Postby Snaga » Mon Oct 01, 2018 5:34 pm

Hello and welcome to the forums! I'm glad to hear you're taking care of it- please try to stay safe.

That's encouraging that you were motivated to go to a meeting, glad to hear that- making something good of it is always better than beating ourselves up for doing it in the first place.

Four years is pretty good- don't feel too bad about falling off the harm wagon. You've proved you can go four years without cutting, right? You can do it again. I know shame is natural, and probably good for you, you need to be a little mad at yourself- but you can also take some pride in going as long as you did, and use that to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You've proved you can go long periods without doing it. You got this, we have faith in you.

In addition to this thread (or any other topics), don't forget we also have a couple of stickied threads here in the self-harm forum: a how you're feeling thread that really can cover just how you're doing in general, good or bad, and not necessarily if you happened to cut that day or not; and also a crisis thread, if you're feeling the urge really bad or have cut bad or something and are hoping for some quick support.

Welcome again and stay safe, sweetie.
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