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NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Sun Nov 05, 2017 9:00 pm

Feeling in hyper mode.. Got to keep busy to avoid a downward crash.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Thu Nov 09, 2017 5:41 pm

Hyper mode is hitting me again. Feeling like if l dont' find a way to calm down, l will return to cutting after about 3 weeks of not falling into it.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby realityhere » Fri Nov 10, 2017 4:00 am

Three weeks is great, TW! Pls try to not self-harm, I can understand it's a struggle and a fine line between cutting and not cutting, there can be a lot of pressure in wanting to calm down.

The facility staff may be concerned about your health/weight, which is why they hope you eat enough meals in the day to offset the alcohol's more deleterious effects.

You're ping-ponging between alcohol and SH.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Sun Nov 12, 2017 5:21 pm

This is true realityhere,. I calm rmyself down with the drink, but if l reach hyper/restless mode, l s/h.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:54 pm

Finding it hard to relax today. Heading for a fall.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Mon Nov 13, 2017 5:34 pm

Putting myself under great pressure today. Going to crack sooner or later
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby realityhere » Mon Nov 13, 2017 6:37 pm

Do you get a chance to go outside, breathe some fresh air even if it's a bit chilly out? What about your friend, can he take you out for a break away from the 4 walls?
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Fri Nov 24, 2017 1:14 pm

I can go out into the communal garden at the home, but any further than that and l have to be accompanied. My Mum came a couple of days ago and she asked a senior member of staff if l could go with her to her car to collect a box. Mum said she would ensure. L didn't do a bunk. Unbelievably, three members of staff went into 'Spanish inquisition mode' just to decide whether they trusted. Me to go as far as Mum's Car and back. Mum even gave her assurance l would come straight back in. I would have been really stupid to do a bunk in Mum's presence.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby Snaga » Sat Nov 25, 2017 2:09 am

Hugs... sounds as if you're effectively grounded. Hope that eventually changes.
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Re: NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

Postby TROJAN WARRIOR » Mon Nov 27, 2017 4:58 pm

I haven't got enough to keep me occupied in this place and the pressure l'm putting myself under to knit all these scarfs and dealing with some of the residents has taken its toll on me lately and l'm starting to crack under the pressure. I've had to deal with pressure from the staff to eat. Dealing with personal care and nursing care and a couple of days ago, l snapped at a resident who was moaning at the staff. I've bottling frustration and anger and that has started to seep out..

I have now said to the staff that l will eat what l want when l want, and reduce my cider to four cans a day, leaving the first one until 5pm. Trouble is it's a battle with my mind and. Trying to keep myself occupied until 5pm. Sometimes l feel my head is going to explode!
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