Hi!. I grew up in an extremist pentecostal cult up until the age of 18 (extreme, as in meetings everyday and people controlling every aspect of my life), after which me and my boyfriend escaped. (This was 8 years ago now.)
Due to the constant pressure to be perfect to avoid judgement and persecution by my family and "extended" family, I developed the protective mechanism of compulsive lying. I am now unable to tell anyone when things are going wrong, or I need help, my only instinct is to pretend that Im fine and life is great.
I don't mean to lie so much to everyone, but I do whenever I'm scared, or confused and sometimes I don't even know why I lie at all. I'm so secretive that I feel like theres a hidden person inside of me, trapped and wanting to get out.
Does anyone else have similar experiences, or advice because I am in pain and I feel so isolated and alone.