emilio29 wrote:The thing is that because no one knows about him dating me, he could easily go back to dating women and it wouldn't be a problem
Good point and yes I could see that making you feel insecure!
emilio29 wrote:do you ever miss the other? Do you have a preference?
My bisexuality is largely unrealised (that I know of- I have suspected myself of repressed memories of possible abuse) in the 3D, but that doesn't take away the want, and I have always wanted, if you get me.
I tend to prefer companionship/romance in a heterosexual context- again, as far as I have experienced it. And think more about the sex act and the male physique, in a homosexual context. The older I get, the less I feel the homosexual context would be only about the sex acts themselves, void of 'love', but still that has been my usual parsing of the problem.
An odd thing to say, but I seem to notice clothed girls, and nekkid guys, if that makes sense- and it doesn't have to, we've had a poster here in the forums that claimed to be 110% gay, yet could only envision an emotional relationship with a woman- but just as 110% could not, would not, brook the idea of sexual relations with her. That would be an extreme example, of the way I think a lot of bi guys parse what they find themselves wanting in either sex. I took the tack that he was in fact Bi, strictly speaking, but he insisted on being Gay....
Anyway the TL;DR, is that over all, as a life goal, I do prefer female company. But that doesn't take away a gnawing hunger for the other, either.
emilio29 wrote:I think he's ashamed of what it means to love me. Get what I mean?
I think I do, yeah. We're still conditioned to think less of ourselves, I think, for liking things we're not supposed to...
emilio29 wrote:I've actually never put myself in the woman's role. It's typically just him having sex with a woman. It disturbs the crap out of me that I get aroused by this.
I got nothing on that. If you
were the woman in the fantasy, esp if it occurred during sex, I'd speculate either a little good clean gender-bending fantasy, or just feeling safer and more secure in the relationship by putting yourself in that role, since he's Bi. But this....? I don't know.
Maybe... maybe it's like a straight guy getting off on the thought of his girl getting it on with a girl...? I mean, if I had a g/f that liked other girls, I know that'd kinda turn me on. And, believe it or not, I've known a woman or two, that kinda got aroused by the idea of a guy with another guy.
Just... rearranged a little to fit this situation? Seeing him do something sexual with something that is not within your paradigm? DangifIknow why dudes like the idea of seeing their girl get it on with another girl, but we do. I don't see why that seemingly risky fantasy (I mean what if she dumps me for the girl?) can't find expression in you, finding the idea of your guy being with a girl, interesting.... it might have nothing to do with why you posted.