Our partner

Compulsive Lying

Compulsive Lying message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: NewSunRising

Re: Compulsive Lying

Postby colt » Sun May 11, 2014 9:06 am

As part of my recovery process I find it helpful to talk about it here and to try to help anyone that comes here. It keeps me honest and humbled when someone who has had to deal with someone like me comes here looking for advice.
I know what your going through because I put my wife through it. I have found that not letting yourself get to high on good days and to low on bad ones helps a lot. Try to keep your emotions as even as possible.
The Courage to Trust by Cynthia Lynn Wall is a good book for both sides of this issue.
colt
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 120
Joined: Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:58 pm
Local time: Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:28 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Compulsive Lying

Postby Borjango671 » Thu Sep 18, 2014 8:49 am

Hi I posted on here a while ago and noticed people have seen it but no one has commented. I was just wondering if you had any advice for me. I'm already in therapy but thinking of seeing a psychiatrist. Any advice?
Borjango671
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2014 2:00 am
Local time: Mon Oct 22, 2018 9:28 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Compulsive Lying

Postby FullOfHope122 » Wed Mar 18, 2015 4:19 am

My name is dally and i can't stop lying
FullOfHope122
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2015 3:37 am
Local time: Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:28 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Compulsive Lying

Postby newmail445 » Sun Jul 12, 2015 1:41 pm

I've been reading this and I will share it because it helps me point out my own lying identifiers and those in other compulsive liars. It's a kindle ebook called "How To Tell If Someone Is Lying". You just go to the amazon kindle store and search "How To Tell If Someone Is Lying" and select the one with black and red font and a woman in a white shirt.
newmail445
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2015 1:08 am
Local time: Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:28 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Compulsive Lying

Postby Shanzie » Sun Jul 08, 2018 7:15 am

Have any of you had girlfriends who were not huge fans of truth twisting? :lol: How did you work it out?
My bf does it to either 'avoid punishment' or influence my mood/actions. I'm able to see through most of it so feeling deceived is not an issue here, it has more to do with lack of security it creates. It's also unbearably annoying. I've run out of functional ways to deal with it, anyone got an advice or literature to recommend?
Shanzie
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2018 3:42 am
Local time: Tue Oct 23, 2018 11:13 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Compulsive Lying

Postby NewSunRising » Sun Jul 08, 2018 10:58 am

Have you had a talk with your BF about how damaging that is ? I would suggest letting him know how manipulative he's being when he " twists the truth " . Using that term for it isn't doing you any favors either - he's lying , be it small or large lies , and giving it a creative name doesn't change that or make it any more acceptable .

We can't change people's behavior . We can only change ourselves . If he wants to stop doing this , you can support him in his efforts . If you want him to stop doing this , you're probaly going to find you have very little power to do so .

It's normal for couples to get get mad at each other for what ever reason . It's normal to be afraid and unhappy that you've ticked off your partner and hurt them by your actions . Stuff like that happens to people everyday . People who love each other fight , talk and make up .

The bigger problems happen when " I can lie my way out of this " becomes the solution to avoiding conflict . And if he's lying to deliberately manipulate your emotions and actions ( and you're aware of it ) then I think you need to really take a good look at why you're with this person .
User avatar
NewSunRising
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 3704
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 12:44 am
Local time: Tue Oct 23, 2018 5:28 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Compulsive Lying

Postby Shanzie » Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:32 pm

NewSunRising wrote:The bigger problems happen when " I can lie my way out of this " becomes the solution to avoiding conflict . And if he's lying to deliberately manipulate your emotions and actions ( and you're aware of it ) then I think you need to really take a good look at why you're with this person .



Fair point. It's something he's been dragging along since early childhood, telling him to just quit it hasn't really worked for us so far. What has shown a potential for progress though is a gentle poke, not as it's happening but in retrospect, with an emotional (and accusatory) distance, this way I'd wrap it in humour and avoid inciting shame. Either that or I'd try to rationalize and present him with benefits of 'staying on the truthful side of the road'. (Having read this, it does sound a bit manipulative from my side :| )
Though we're spinning in circles here, and it's unlikely he'll ever be willing to give the control over my moods/feelings up, so I use the point in your last sentence. Something to think about.
Shanzie
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2018 3:42 am
Local time: Tue Oct 23, 2018 11:13 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Compulsive Lying

Postby NewSunRising » Mon Jul 09, 2018 2:46 am

sending you a PM .
User avatar
NewSunRising
Moderator: Consumer
Moderator: Consumer
 
Posts: 3704
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 12:44 am
Local time: Tue Oct 23, 2018 5:28 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Previous

Return to Compulsive Lying Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests