A mistake I made

Hello!
Long story short, I was trying to get over someone I had a crush on at work(I’m a woman and this was a man my age). But I felt like I had these repressed anger and some residual longing and lustful feelings. I worked through By trying to find a fwb/hookup. Yes I know not healthy. I did find a person, and we fooled around for a few months, no longer together. But the problem was I was ignoring the fact that due to avoiding relationships, I wasn’t highly experienced sexually. And in a traditional sense I was a virgin still. At the beginning I started to explain my past to him vaguely, then I outright lied eventually. It didn’t hurt when it happened only ‘cause I used toys in the past to break myself in. But yeah I never got around to telling him the truth…all because I thought I could keep the real details private. I obviously feel bad now. I still have somewhat contact with him, I do want to tell him the truth before the year ends. I’m just afraid of how that will go.
I also posted my story on Reddit and how I felt remorse for this, surprisingly I got a little bit of support there.
I didn’t realize a forum about compulsive liars even exists, I’m definitely looking to make internet connections and talk about these things along with other mental health issues.

Other than giving him maybe a sense of pride at being 'the first', I'm not sure I understand this need to tell him the truth. You're probably far from the only person who's lied or embellished their sexual experiences. Very far from it. Unless you lie about everything, I don't know this even belongs in the compulsive lying forum, to be honest. I know it looms large in your mind, but looking at it from the outside, this seems trivial. I would suggest just letting it be, I don't see what sort of difference it makes for him to know you didn't have the sexual history you passed off.

Having said that, well yeah sure don't lie about it again- in this day and age I'm not sure there's a reason to lie, in either direction. It just is what it is.

Snaga wrote:Other than giving him maybe a sense of pride at being 'the first', I'm not sure I understand this need to tell him the truth. You're probably far from the only person who's lied or embellished their sexual experiences. Very far from it. Unless you lie about everything, I don't know this even belongs in the compulsive lying forum, to be honest. I know it looms large in your mind, but looking at it from the outside, this seems trivial. I would suggest just letting it be, I don't see what sort of difference it makes for him to know you didn't have the sexual history you passed off.

Having said that, well yeah sure don't lie about it again- in this day and age I'm not sure there's a reason to lie, in either direction. It just is what it is.

I guess you’re right…there has only been, I’d say 2-3 instances(including this one) where I told a major lie that kinda made me feel like I was living a double life. Or at-least with the people I lied to. Aside from those cases, I live a pretty typical life. I don’t lie every week or everyday, thankfully. So yeah, it’s actually been 2 years since we spent a night together…and a year since I saw him in person to just catch up. It does preoccupy my mind. Do even if I don’t confess to him, I still wanna drop hints… if he doesn’t respond…then all for not saying anything and moving forward.