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The rebuilding process

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The rebuilding process

Postby Argus » Tue Oct 24, 2017 4:02 am

It seems to me a sudden realization. An entire lifetime of half truths or out and out lies I've perpetuated on anyone (potentially) that has had the misfortune of meeting me...
Especially women but certainly not exclusively
I've been married/divorced multiply times and having committed this pattern of behavior with them all
My latest relationship has ... for what ever the reason brought clarity to me like none other
I FEEL her suffering and personal frustration for allowing herself to get involved with me
I'm left with guilt, pain and shame
As well I should feel this! It's long overdue and sadly too late for many in my for me to make amends
I'm grateful for her honesty and support of me... Not abandoning me out of frustration and feelings of betrayal
Though she certainly has every right to do this
She has shown me truly how great she is and how great i/we could have been
I moved 2350 miles to be with her
I sensed her greatness!
Only to do what I've done repeatedly in my life...
To a wonderful person who didn't deserve me in her life
Sure I have some great qualities... we all do!
But nothing is greater than the damage I've done and I see it all in her
I'm left commited to change and determined at this late age in life to never return to my wicked harmful ways
My life as a child was one of abuse and neglect, being brought up in poverty
I started lying at an early age and never stopped
I've had numerous head injuries that weren't treated as a child as well as near death experiences from illness
I must be a perfect candidate for therapy!
That's a bit about myself. I look forward to being a part of this group and learning to live a more humble and productive life
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Re: The rebuilding process

Postby willyg » Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:42 am

It is so sad, the hurt and misery we cause iur loved ones by our lying. When we look back to try to figure out why we did it, its not always understandable. Then we look forward and try to figure iut how to fix ourselves and all the problems we have caused, and again, it is hard to know what to do. But you seem to have evaluated your life problems lying has caused you and others and come up with it good attitude of fixing things and not lying anymore. Hang on tight to that idea and stick with it. It will take a while but you will be able to come out on top if you hold on to your desires to fix things and work hard at it.
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