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Boyfriend compulsive liar - should I tell his psychologist?

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Boyfriend compulsive liar - should I tell his psychologist?

Postby ScarletStarlet » Tue Jun 20, 2017 12:06 pm

Hi,

I originally made this account to discuss my sexual addiction problems, hence the name...
My boyfriend has a serious compulsive lying problem.
He has kept me away from his treatment and I've always respected that as it is his therapy however it has put me in a rather frustrating and difficult position.
I won't go into details of the lies but some are extremely disturbing, shocking and severe. But he lies to everyone, in a variety of different situations, even when there is absolutely no need.
I believe he has BPD and this is related to the lying.
He has admitted he has a problem with lying to me but never discusses it properly with me and I do not push him to too hard as I know how excruciating it is for him.

I believe he has lied to his psychologist. I do not believe he has told her about the lying problem. Why would he?
However I believe he is now at a stage where he wants to get help for it as he has told me so and I can see it in his behaviour. He is going to be having EMDR therapy very soon. The problem is, I have reason to believe much of what he has said is false.
I believe he's mixing lies with truths when talking about his traumas.
I have a very, very good reason to believe this however that's not what this post is about.
I would welcome any suggestions from people who suffer from this problem and people who have had experience in dealing with a person with this.

I know it is not my place to interfere. I am just extremely worried that if he is going for EMDR and the traumas are lies that it will mess him up permanently.
He may believe he can get through the therapy by imagining different situations that did really happen whilst his psychologist believes the trauma is different.

I am very very concerned for him right now.
I know it is not my place to judge what is and isn't true, however if I were to explain in detail the situation I guarantee you would fully understand why I suspect he has lied extensively to his psychologist.

And I really do believe that they have absolutely no idea. He is a very intelligent man. He also believes his own lies. He knows they're not true but he tells himself they are despite a conscious awareness that they aren't.
If he finds out I have said this to his psychologist he will feel utterly betrayed by me.
I don't know what to do for the best. I want to help him and believe he wants to help himself but his addiction to lying may prevent that from happening due to an inability to tell the truth about it.

He knows how crazy they will think he is. He knows they will never trust another word he says.
But he's able to carry on as if everything is OK because if noone else knows he doesn't have to acknowledge it.
Please help.
Do I tell his psychologist or not?
ScarletStarlet
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Re: Boyfriend compulsive liar - should I tell his psychologist?

Postby ScarletStarlet » Tue Jun 20, 2017 10:08 pm

Update: If I could delete this posting I would. The problem no longer exists. They know. They understand a lot better than I thought. And they're doing a brilliant job with him. And he is being so mature and doing so well. I am so relieved. And so happy. And so proud of him.
ScarletStarlet
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Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2017 6:52 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 20, 2018 5:54 pm
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