I'm not sure if this is where I should even post this - but I'm posting here because this is the only clear diagnosis I have as of right now and I didn't know where else to write. If it's not correct, I apologize - I'm new here.
I was diagnosed with PTSD after suffering two long abusive marriage with two different men. The first was horrific, the second not as bad but nonetheless, abusive. I've been in abuse shelter homes, seen countless therapists and psychiatrists, I've even been to the mental ward a few times (5+) I've always suffered from depression even as a child but recently things have gotten a lot worse.
Prior to starting a new anti-depressant (Celexa 20mg) I was having nervous fits, depression, crying, dealing with trust issues, having nightmares and triggers (kinda the normal stuff I'd say for someone with PTSD, or at least thats what everyone says is normal.) I started taking Celexa in November (20mg) and found that I started having more symptoms.
With 20 mg of Celexa I've started having panic attacks, feeling very nervous to the point where I get physically sick, I shake, I cry much more than I ever did before, I feel alone, I've thought of suicide and have cut, I've lost all interest in my life (with the exception of my partner) I don't want to go to school, I don't want to be around my son and I don't enjoy artwork or anything else I did previously. I sleep a lot, more than an average person (about 15 hours a day give or take) I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend who is supportive but also causes a lot of situational depression and anxiety for me.
on the 13th of February, my doctor switched me to 40 mg of Celexa after I explained to him that my symptoms have gotten worse (in my opinion) I've been taking 40 mg since, but the symptoms have gotten even worse. I'm even more nervous than usual, I shake, breath heavy and feel like my chest is caving in - then usually have a full blown panic attack. I still have no interest in anything other than sleep and being with my boyfriend, but now the suicidal thoughts are much worse - and I've started feeling A LOT of aggression, mostly towards my boyfriend. I've been having thoughts of harming him as well and the intensity of these emotions and feelings are getting much worse everyday, especially when situations occur that leave me feeling depressed.
I know I need to see a doctor, but that's not possible for a few days. I'm afraid to go to the Emergency Room or Crisis Center because I've been there so much in the last few months that they may put me on hold and have me transferred to a real mental health facility. My questions are, what can I do to stop these thoughts until I can see a professional, and does my situation sound like something more than PTSD. I know we can't make diagnoses here, but I'm very unfamiliar with most mental health illnesses and would like opinions to bring to my doctor to be investigated.