Don't remember childhood/things I just watched/people's face

Hi,
I don't remember my childhood. Maybe I wasted my childhood. I have a complex about not having a normal childhood. I've always been uncommunicative, I felt dead during my childhood, living day by day, being afraid, being here only by existing.
I'm grown up now. I'm better now, more sociable, lively. But, I don't feel normal, people have their childhood and I don't. I don't know how to reply them when they ask me do you remember this as a normie.
Is that ok?

I don't remember the things I just watched. I don't remember people's face I just met. I'm really trying my best. I'm learning.

When I'm sad, I have to think about the reasons why I feel sad. Like thinking about what happened that made me sad.

Can't I just begin living now? Just like I've never had any childhood? Like life begins now?

My younger days is a blur to me too. I remember short clips of memories like when our dad left us, a visit we had with him while he was in a tent prison/jail of sorts; and that is it, nothing else until later in life when I met him when I was 17. From birth to 5 years old, only these younger memories remain. I have seen old photographs of he and us, but as is the norm, these are not in our memories pretty much across the board.

There are "Attributes of the Mind," that are present with us every day, but as our brain begins to mature we tend to lose our past experiences.

Attributes of the mind include Recollection, Memory, Emotions, Will, and Reason to name a few. Sometimes (as it has been said before) we protect ourselves mentally from things that have hurt us physically. I am not alluding to you having been abused as child, but maybe something you thought was scary to you, blocked matter's of the mind you now cannot recall. ((?))