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I feel like I am retarded

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I feel like I am retarded

Postby emanresu94 » Mon Dec 03, 2018 8:54 pm

For the last 7 years or so,I am battling with what most MH professionals up until now have labelled OCD,yet I dont believe this is my problem.I mean,for years now my mind is just totally blank,and for this reason I feel like I am avoiding learning new things,while also,I am not intellectually curious.I have a hobby or two,I have graduated University in my country,and was always told I am ''smart'',yet how can I be smart since I feel like my head is like a white board at all times,24/7.Lol I even got to take an IQ test and scored 122,but still I am not convinced I am that intelligent,and my mind comes up with numerous reasons for this score to be fake(like knowing about the test I was going to take,or having done various tests on the internet throughout the years),yet I did not ''cheat'' if you willst.....It feels my whole life is a lie,my identity is crumbling,I cant bear it anymore....also I suffer from physical disability(not so debilitating in severity,but severe enough to make me ''look different'',which sucks,especially in the romance domain)....I have suicidal thoughts all the time,and i feel like I am a retard who tricked everyone else.I can not really think,my spatial thinking(perceptual thinking) is ###$ up,I cant conjure any image whatsoever,cant do witty humor,can not function in a general sense.The only thing I wanted was to just be normal,since I was a kid....althrough I was academically competent at school(and I have interviewed some of my professors in high school,who told me i was undoubtedly intelligent),I dont really feel like it.Also,I cant express my thoughts in detail,thus I can describe my ''condition of being'' only in a fragmental manner,which may have implications on my ability to describe what I perceive as symptoms to my MHP......I feel ###$ up,mentally rotten.What is wrong with me?Why?
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Re: I feel like I am retarded

Postby Snaga » Wed Dec 05, 2018 11:01 am

Well, this sounds as if it's a pretty intelligent post.

Don't forget, since you've been Dx'd with OCD, that pwOCD will over think until they don't know which way is up. I know I feel as is I'm challenged sometimes if I dwell on it. Also besides OCD I think I have ADD- there is some sort of learning disability associated with that, and yeah, it feels as if stuff doesn't sink in too quickly...

Main thing I want to remind you of, is that with OCD we can convince ourselves of just about anything.

Tell someone you love them today, because Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, because Life is also terrifying and confusing.


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