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Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM)

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Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM)

Postby Gerbie » Fri Apr 06, 2018 3:06 pm

I am not personally experiencing this, however I believe my husband is, and I am looking for experiences, advice, help, anything really.

We have been together since we were teenagers, and we are in our forties now, so most of my memories are his too. But he is having a very difficult time remembering things that have occurred in his life. Big things, milestones. Not everything is gone, but I'm scared that one day, it will be.

There are certain things that he has forgotten that make more sense, seem to have a reason, but are still bothersome to him. He had a car accident at sixteen where one of the passengers died, and he can remember some things (but not all) that happened before and after the accident, but not what immediately preceded it. I believe that's just a healthy coping mechanism, he's shut off a traumatic event.

His father passed away three days after my husband turned eighteen. He obviously remembers what his father looked like, but he can't see him anymore, even in the memories he can recall. For example, he can remember the last words his father ever said to him, but he can't hear his voice or see him standing there. He can remember being a young boy and using a curse word for the first time. He can see himself standing on his back steps, and he knows his father was there because his father is the one that told him he could cuss, and he can see a snapshot of it clearly, but in his snapshot, his father isn't there. This is also true with other people he has been close with that have passed away. He knows they were there, but he can't see them in those snapshots anymore. I believe this is also some type of psychological thing, some kind of internal wrestling with losing them.

But there are other things, more worrisome things. He can remember the day we got married very clearly, yet he can't remember proposing to me. Nothing about it. Not where we were, not the date, not what he said, not my response. It's not there. It's gone.

We have three sons. He was there for all the births. But he can only remember the birth of our first child. There were difficulties, I had a c-section, and even with that, they couldn't get the baby out. The baby was purple, needed oxygen, and he left the doctors to stitch me up while he went with our child. The other two, also c-sections, but without difficulties, are also gone to him. He obviously knows our children were born, but he doesn't remember anything about it. He can't picture it at all. Not even a little.

He can remember phone numbers from thirty years ago, but has problems recalling major events in his life. There are also many other memories that have just disappeared for him, smaller memories but still important. It concerns me. This SDAM is the closest thing I can relate to what's happening to him. But it seems fairly new, without a lot of information or help related to it.

Any insight or advice would be appreciated.
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