Our partner

Various mental issues for the past 3 months

Cognitive Disorder NOS message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Various mental issues for the past 3 months

Postby NocturnalIncision24 » Fri Mar 23, 2018 8:44 pm

Hey all,

I'm new to this forum, and probably wouldn't be posting on it were it not for what I see as the increasing severity of my mental issues.

To make a very long story short, I have a diagnosis of ADD (the inattentive subtype), and have had various issues with depression and anxiety for a while (mostly situational). Recently, however, a number of events occurred which seemed to have opened Pandora's box, so to speak.

After a graduating college, I took a really #######5 food service job for four months, mostly to move out near my friends, look for better work, and (this is the main reason) to escape a stressful family situation. In the month before I moved out, I had to deal nearly everyday with an extremely depressed brother (he's doing much better now), lots of verbal arguments between family members, and my beloved old dog slowly dying. I wanted to do everything to escape this situation, and if working in food service 4-5 nights a week till midnight was my way out, so be it.

This backfired worse than I could have imagined. Demanding and rude customers, fast-faced and relentless shifts, bitchy coworkers, late hours, you name it, I went through it. My anxiety and stress levels went through the roof, to the point where I ended up in the hospital for an afternoon after a panic attack on the road. This was back in October, and I foolishly didn't quit till December...

Anyways, it was only after quitting the job and going back home to my family that a lot of strange mental issues began to occur. First was the exhaustion. My mother decided to take me to a naturopath, who concluded that my issues at the time (brain dog, exhaustion and tiredness, anxiety, etc...) were the results of Adrenal Fatigue. Now for those who don't know, this is basically where the adrenal glands become so worn out from stress that they cease to produce a normal amount of cortisol, leading to mental and physical exhaustion.

Now the problem with this theory is that most in the medical community do not believe it to be a real condition, and I myself am skeptical of it's validity. Still I'm taking a bunch of supplements (mostly vitamins) that are supposed to help with these issues. Despite this, and major changes to my diet, I have still been dealing with a few nearly debilitating mental and physical issues for at least 3 months now:

Brain fog/mental confusion: This is the big one, and the issue that causes me the most distress. Most of the time, it seems like my mind is completely blank, with very little internal monologue. Think of it as dead air-space. Whereas I used to feel like I always had a consistent and dynamic train of thought, my thoughts now feel more like little fragments of ideas passing by. This is on and off throughout the day. The weird thing is that generally speaking, I can talk and write fine (as evidenced by this verbose post), and yet when I'm alone it feels like my mind is blank. I also experience a lot of confusion as to what I should be doing, and what emotions I should be feeling at a given time. Another strange thing is that time feels so slow, like I can feel every minute pass by. As you can imagine, this can get pretty mind-numbing.

Emotional numbness: Which leads me into my next issue. Most of the time, I feel completely void of any emotion. When emotions do come bubbling up, they appear mainly as irritability and sadness, especially around my parents. While I occasionally feel pleasure (mostly after a beer or two), I don't remember the last time I felt genuinely happy about something. I'm aware that most of this looks a lot like depression, and this would make sense. Even when I'm doing the things that I intellectually understand to be fulfilling (hanging out with friends, playing music, etc...), something just feels off.

Dissociation: This is tied into the other issues I've been dealing with. After a period of intense stress (usually as a result of family conflicts) I tend to feel even more detached, like I'm watching myself go through the motions of life. A lot of this has to do with memory. Whenever something major happens these days, I feel very indifferent about it one way or the other come the next morning.

Physical symptoms: My eyes feel sore nearly everyday, and I don't remember the last time I didn't have a headache.

Anxiety: This is the final major issue. Most of my anxiety is of the existential type: I tend to worry a lot about how others will perceive me or whether my communication will come across as clear enough. This is especially true while having a conversation. Whereas I've always had social anxiety around strangers, nowadays many-times even talking to my family causes anxiety, as I tend to ramble and sometimes forget what I was going to say mid-sentence.

Those are the main issues I've been dealing with, and I just don't know how to go about solving them. I'm not severely depressed, but it just feels as though my brain's processing speed is extremely slow. I should add that some of these issues started after I stopped taking Adderall medicinally over two years ago, and got involved in a car crash; but it's only been in the last three months that it's become a persistant issue.

Finally, I wonder how much of this is situational. Right now I don't have a job (although I've been searching for a good one for quite sometime), and I've been technically living in three different locations (my apartment, my brother's place, and my parents' place).I know that my external life is all over the place, but I'm not sure if fixing it would improve my internal state fully.

Sorry if this seemed long-winded and rambling lol, but I just wanted to thoroughly explain what's happened to me and how I got in this state. Feel free to ask any other questions of me, as any help I can get would be appreciated right now lol.
NocturnalIncision24
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2018 7:39 pm
Local time: Mon Jun 17, 2019 11:39 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Return to Cognitive Disorder NOS Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest