Blank Mind

Hey guys, this is my first post so here goes,

My mind is completely blank every second of the day. There are never any thoughts in my head. It is always empty. And even if I desperately try to think, I am unable to generate thought. I can’t picture or visualize anything in my head either. It is just darkness. I can’t focus on literally anything even entertainment: from YouTube videos to movies to video games to reading, nothing. Additionally I have almost no functional long or short term memory.

Whatever this is has destroyed my life. I can’t function at all, I can’t keep a job, I had to drop out of school do to my poor academic performance, and I don’t have any friends: I just live in perpetual sickening empty agony. I’m in my twenties and for the past several years I have been living at home with my parents and barely existing.

Anyone else experience anything similar to this?

Hello there,

You had any new discover about your condition ?

I am in a situation very similar to you.

regards,

Hi,

I had similar problem many years back, but I could concentrate on computer games. My own mother called me meat when I binge played computer games and ignored work/study/house chore etc. Now I suspect my problem was cognitive impairments due to schizoprenia + mood disorder(depression/anxiety), aka schizoaffective. One psychologist said I could be schizophrenic but I didn't believe her, because I was only aware of my cognitive impairment at the time, and I thought schizophrenics were all violent and suffer from hallucinations. But my positive symptoms were mild, I only had some delusions such as somebody stole my mind, because of my cognitive impairment, my delusion seemed logically sound. And I thought there were super humans who know what's going on in other people's head, and it's possible tell the future if I found the right method.

Years later I leant that schizoprenics have 3 major types of symptoms, they are positive, negative and cognitive. Negative symptoms are correlated to cognitive symptoms, and are predictor of loss of functions. My negative symptoms were more apparent.

I never got an official diagonosis from a professional. But I think you guys should seek help from professionals. Let them run tests on you, fMRI, hormones or neurotransmitters, etc. You may have a different problem from mine.

Unfortunately, I learnt from an article(but I forget the source), that current drugs are effective on positive symptoms ; but do little to improve cognitive functions.

I am still jobless, live alone and my home is a mess, and I have as many human contacts as a castaway. I have to check map every few minutes when navigate through unfamiliar places, while I should remember the hall mark places, I check map every block.

But I "feel" much better about myself in recent years, this feeling may not be subjective. I did simple stuff at first, like gardening, then I read books and learn mathematics,I am refilling my brain with informations. For many years, my long term and short term memories didn't work, but I could remember 7-9 digits in my working memory. I think in addition to cognitive problems, the panic and anxiety make things more difficult.