She cries so easily, she constantly argues, she takes any type of criticism or advice to heart. It's hard to have a conversation with her sometimes. She also has no sense of trying to look nice. I have to pick out her clothes every morning and fix her hair or she would look really messy and crazy. She also can act extremely immature
She is a child ...( she may be alittle behind in her maturity ) but there might be a reason for that
She has no sense of looking nice
( in your opinion ?)
maybe she might like to be showing her own style now (her own way in life or the beginnings ( children are perceptive even when you think they are not
My own.. doesn't like the way I use to style his hair either ( & sweeps it in totally the wrong way down terribly flat & horrible ) I giggle to myself & let him go ( he is 11) ..he must find his own style to some degree without my interference so much now ( lol & it is hard ) as I also like to be there with / for him in his 'choices' but have tried now to take a more back approach with a few things letting them slide ( giving my own opinion as best / nicely as I can eg- your hair would look better like this lol
But in the end ( for some things I let him go with it ) encouraging him to accept his own choices to a little degree with the small stuff mostly( encouraging his Independence from me )
As for crying ( I am also thinking my boy is the same very sensitive & yes can cry very easy )
when he does ( I now change my behavior ) to try & suit ( as he is still learning to navigate his own emotions ( as yes there might be a slight problem maybe anxiety )
If he cries ( I don't get embarrassed by it ) I 'm trying to find out what is upsetting or frustrating him
( so I can help him express this ) & move passed it ( working with him )
Most sensitive children will take criticism to heart -( talking to a trained therapist who works with kids will help you both ) make it sound not that there is something wrong with her but ( rather a way to help her cope & be the best she can be ) with a little help for you both ( so you both have little strategies to put into place together ( eg- she is upset & you might have learn't new ways for her to express what she is feeling right there in a better way for HERSELF !
Maybe think back also on how you are 'talking' to her ( influencing her anxiety levels ) we can all do it unintentionally ( & with a more 'sensitive' child it will exculate in them ) eg- I am learning to change my way I interact with him ( to help him express himself better & will be trying to help him also learn ways to deal more so with his anxiety at times with things ) ..
Its normal for a child ( especially so a gal ) to not want to be wrong in things ( thing here is that she is feeling you are criticizing her for some reason ) so again something to work with together & with also the counselor
As the behaviors will change better with a team effort of understanding & better bonding together as mother & daughter ..
Maybe encouraging her to decide a few things her self might also help her to mature more so ( also by 'talking ' / listening to her ( hear her reasons for wanting & dressing the way she is right now )
Also maybe look into why the need for expectation of her to do / dress / act the way you think she should be ...( again a hard step for any parent to look to ) but when we do it does help to understand ( hey its not that bad ..& making I am instead making a fuss when not necessary ( or maybe we just need to find a better way to work it tog better..