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over 40 years ago

Open Discussions About Child Abuse

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over 40 years ago

Postby Beowulf62 » Sun Nov 15, 2020 11:18 pm

This has been on my mind for a while since I recently found a picture of my former stepfather on the internet. My mother divorced my father (a wonderful man) when I was four. She quickly remarried my first stepfather. They argued all the time and divorced after 3 years. Step #2 was nice to us kids but was physically abusive to my mother. After the divorce, my mother married stepdad #3 when I was 10. Stepdad #3 was horribly physically and verbally abusive to me and my sister. We literally tiptoed through the house to avoid a beating. I was terrified of him. When I was about 15, my stepfather and I were were working in the barn. I had my back to him. It was a hot day and he had his shirt off. Suddenly he jumped on my back and started growling and chewing on my ear. Horrified, I shook him off and he started laughing. I never told my mother. My question is, has anyone here ever heard of anyone doing such a bizarre thing? What do you think he was doing? Your thoughts please. Thank you.
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Re: over 40 years ago

Postby Terry E. » Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:06 am

That is one of the weirdest things I have heard here in 7 years and we do get some really weird stuff. . No never heard anything like that.

Where in hell did your mother get these men, and why did she lose the one who sounded okay ??

That is a lot of dads to go through before you are 20!!!!
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Re: over 40 years ago

Postby Beowulf62 » Thu Nov 19, 2020 2:30 pm

very helpful response
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Re: over 40 years ago

Postby aubesu2 » Tue Dec 29, 2020 1:03 am

Here is a complete guess....

I assume you are male. From what I gather, your last step father began to physically abuse you around the age of 10.

At 15, you were well into puberty and growing. You were working with him- “Man’s Work” I assume, and he probably:
    1) noticed the changes in your body.
    2) realized the burgeoning threat to his physical dominance
    3) Wanted to test you
    4) Wanted to re-assert some form of Dominance

It may also have been, in a way, some sort of reprimand for physically maturing enough so you could defend yourself.

My best guess. Hope it helps.
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Re: over 40 years ago

Postby Beowulf62 » Tue Jan 19, 2021 6:03 pm

I think you may be right. Never thought of it from that perspective. Yes, I'm male. Looking back, it seems my stepfather tolerated absolutely NO perceived challenge (real or not) to his authority. Living in that house was about like living in a concentration camp. Never knew if what I was doing (or not doing) was going to earn me a beating or not. Interrogations sometimes lasted over an hour. He'd sit in his chair while I stood there and answered questions. He would try to trip me up and get me to say something that would get me in more trouble. Sometimes I would begin to lose my balance or have to urinate badly. Even at this age, I don't like thinking about it. The good that came out of all this, it gave me a high pain tolerance. When I was 17, I joined the Army, became a paratrooper and eventually Special Forces. Retired after 20 years. Because of my childhood, I over compensated when I raised my own son and gave him too much of a free rein (I didn't want to be like my stepfather) and rarely punished him for anything. So now he's 21 hooked on drugs, in and out of jail, etc. I wish now that I could have found a better balance with my own parenting skills. Live and learn. Thank you for your insights on this, it answered some questions.
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Re: over 40 years ago

Postby Muttonchop » Fri Feb 26, 2021 9:17 pm

Very horrendous. He should have been locked up and the key thrown away or let someone do the same thing to him and see how he likes it.
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