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Specific Accent Reminds Me Of Abuser

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Specific Accent Reminds Me Of Abuser

Postby bingbongbing » Sun Feb 16, 2020 10:46 pm

I know that people with the same/similar accent that my abuser has can't help it, but I just can't stand being around people who sound like they do or use the same words that they do.
It's specifically a Cornish accent- I have nothing against people from Cornwall, it's a lovely place and full of lovely people I'm sure, but hearing that accent or most other accents from England just... angers me? Even if it's just somebody on TV, I'll be fine for a few minutes but almost always have to shut it off or I'll start spiraling into bad thoughts and old memories.
It's probably because they are the only person in my life right now with that accent, so I'd obviously be reminded of them, but I don't want to be like this forever.
Is there any way I can learn to separate the accent from the person who speaks with it?
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Re: Specific Accent Reminds Me Of Abuser

Postby avatar123 » Wed Feb 19, 2020 11:01 pm

As you mentioned, the abuser has been the only one in your life with that accent. So perhaps desensitivity training will help, you could listen to other voices speaking with those accents until they are no longer triggering. This might be difficult at first but will get easier over time. You can build into it slowly. You could listen to women's voices at first, for example, if your abuser was male. Or vice-versa. You should be able to find radio or TV programming or movies that feature that accent.

The main idea would be for your mind to consider that accent as routine or common, and not associated just with your abuser. That is actually the truth, so it won't be hard to accept, once you get beyond the initial trigger, which is understandable in your case.
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