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Childhood mental trauma is preventing me from living well

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Childhood mental trauma is preventing me from living well

Postby hexpert » Sat Jul 13, 2019 5:19 pm

I was abused by both of my parents starting from the age of 5. My father had an affair with his secretary and left my family for that bitch. My mother blamed me for his actions and tortured me growing up. I was the scapegoat for everything wrong in her life, because to her I was just like my father. I have his name and his face. My mother spoiled my little brother rotten and gave him everything. My father was no better. He beat me too. My mother wouldn't give him the divorce he wanted to marry his whore. So he would come home to fight with my mother and lash out at me. To make a long and painful story. I'm ###$ up. I cant live a normal life. I'm all alone and have no family to rely on. I dont trust people. I'm anxious in social situations. I have zero social skills. And I'm a loser and a failure. How do I get over this? I want to start living a normal life but I just cant. Please help me.
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Re: Childhood mental trauma is preventing me from living well

Postby Terry E. » Sun Jul 14, 2019 2:00 am

I can relate to everything you say. Luckily for me my father I did not shut me off although I shut him out of my life for a long time. (he had been driven out when I was seven and I also use the word torture. When she got depressed at the #######5 life she had made for herself there was always a way to relive that frustration. Beat us until we screamed.- and that became harder and harder as our pain thresholds rose. )

Firstly we do not have normal lives. Having seen such evil and lived it, we will trust differently we experience joy differently, we have different gauges of success and failure. Don't let what others may judge you by get too much for you. You have survived something that should have broken you. Breaks so many.

You are not in jail for violent crime. You are not a drug addict or alcoholic (my assumption from your post). That in my mind makes you a success.

I will come back with some actual advice later today, and I think reaching out right now may be a turning point for you.
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Re: Childhood mental trauma is preventing me from living well

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:16 pm

If you can find a therapist who specializes in early and chronic childhood trauma, that could be really helpful. That kind of trauma and abuse causes major attachment and trust difficulties (it's likely that your parents weren't tuned into your emotional needs before the age of 5 also, and that can cause a lot of damage as well). An experienced therapist with expertise in this area can help you heal from this.
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