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Health Effects on an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse

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Health Effects on an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse

Postby jaydnul » Thu Mar 28, 2019 4:56 pm

Hello,

Someone close to me survived a range of child abuse from their biological father, mostly emotional, but some physical. They turned out great mentally and emotionally as an adult, however they seem to always be sick with something. Whether it be an upset stomach, nerve pain, fatigue... there always seems to be something no matter what. They have about every food allergy in the book, gluten, shellfish, lactose intolerance, etc. It impedes their ability to consistently go to work or keep any plans with friends and family.

Sometimes I think it might have been the best way for them growing up to forcefully get the required attention a child would need, then other times I think that they really do have a heightened nerve sensitivity because even pleasurable things seem to be more intense for them.

Really I just want to know if this is a known phenomenon, I am unfamiliar with abuse survival and its symptoms. If so, are there effective remedies, like therapy or even medication to reduce sensitivity?

Thanks so much in advance!
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Re: Health Effects on an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse

Postby realityhere » Tue May 21, 2019 12:54 am

Dunno if what you've said about your friend's illnesses reflects a need for attention due to early childhood abuse or not. But do realize that PTSD or anxiety that resulted from childhood abuse can run its course throughout adulthood and can trigger all manner of physical illnesses, from food allergies or intolerance, fatigue, upset stomach, tension, etc, not to mention other mental states such as psychosis when triggered, and agoraphobia, to name a couple. Your friend may be trying to avoid situations that can cause anxiety or worsen PTSD symptoms.

There are meds for anxiety like xanax, but some ppl don't like xanax because it makes them feel sleepy or too doped up, as in brain fog. Some ppl tolerate such meds better than others. Some ppl with PTSD have service dogs trained to detect symptoms in their masters. There are clinical trials for treatment of PTSD but results are not out yet. Therapy is good for discussing one's issues, but doesn't ameliorate PTSD symptoms entirely.

What you can do is try to be a supportive person in your friend's life-- your friend likely appreciates that positive support more than you can ever know.
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Re: Health Effects on an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Tue May 21, 2019 1:23 am

realityhere wrote:childhood abuse can run its course throughout adulthood and can trigger all manner of physical illnesses, from food allergies or intolerance, fatigue, upset stomach, tension, etc, not to mention other mental states such as psychosis when triggered, and agoraphobia, to name a couple.

^ This is scientifically proven

Also, there are also somatoform disorders that can result from trauma.

Trying to deal with a suspicion that they're doing it for attention or faking it in anyway has the risk of severely retraumarizing the individual, so don't play therapist, and urge them to get professional help.

Lastly, benzos or other drugs are bandaids which don't actually deal with the wound, so they aren't enough on their own either.
They collect information to stock pile in their souls, saying, "I will tuck this into my subconscious for later use."  ~ unknown
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Re: Health Effects on an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse

Postby Cassandre » Tue May 21, 2019 8:12 am

It's easy though, if when you give in or provide attention the person's symptoms vanish then it is about attention indeed.

If there is no bargain attached to the symptoms, and the person seem to experience them all the time unrelatedly of people's marks of attention, then the person experiences the pain in reality or imagination. As an example, I do experience pain in imagination, but do not seek undue attention, it is stress-based mostly and evaporates once I get confirmation that I'm healthy. To illustrate further: people fearing a heart attack when having a panic attack.

It's also possible to be both attention seeking and hypochondriac, but again there should be implicit bargains attached to the symptoms, which you should be able to spot.
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Re: Health Effects on an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Tue May 21, 2019 3:54 pm

DaturaInnoxia wrote:Trying to deal with a suspicion that they're doing it for attention or faking it in anyway has the risk of severely retraumatizing the individual...

This.

People have a legitimate need to be seen and valued, and to seek to get a legitimate need met is not to seek "undue" attention. People providing that are not "giving in," but are showing the other person that they deserve to have their needs met. People have limits, but if another person's needs exceed your limits, that doesn't make their need less real or less important.
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Re: Health Effects on an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse

Postby Cassandre » Tue May 21, 2019 7:19 pm

Sometimes what people need is you setting boundaries on them. Sometimes the kindest compassionate thing to do to a person IS setting a boundary, so that they can reflect and grow from there in a way that have not had the opportunity to prior.

If you reward attention seeking, you don't reward the true self, as simple as that.
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Re: Health Effects on an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse

Postby Terry E. » Wed May 22, 2019 3:48 am

This stuff gets you. It gets us in so many different ways as all our cases are different. No two are the same. It can change our brains our bodies strip us of our emotions. Changes how you see life, see love, feel pain.

Try and support him and please don't doubt him. Being doubted has its own form of pain.
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Re: Health Effects on an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse

Postby Cassandre » Wed May 22, 2019 6:05 am

Sure everyone wants to be seen and valued and supported in dealing with their blind spots in a compassionate manner.

But :

" Try and support him and please don't doubt him. Being doubted has its own form of pain. "

Someone manipulative could utter those very words? "Don't doubt me, I need you, I can't deal without you."

Don't you wish people to have a choice?

It matters to me, giving people options. The choice is theirs.
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Re: Health Effects on an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse

Postby Terry E. » Wed May 22, 2019 11:39 pm

Cassandre wrote:Sure everyone wants to be seen and valued and supported in dealing with their blind spots in a compassionate manner.

But :

" Try and support him and please don't doubt him. Being doubted has its own form of pain. "

Someone manipulative could utter those very words? "Don't doubt me, I need you, I can't deal without you."

Don't you wish people to have a choice?

It matters to me, giving people options. The choice is theirs.


What you are referring to are Munchers. There are no people I dislike more than them. However if he is a genuine survivor validation of his life is important. Maybe the most important thing for him.

You need to be careful here as the "minimizing a survivors pain" will strike a lot of nerves here. Many if not most of us have experienced it.
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Re: Health Effects on an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse

Postby Cassandre » Thu May 23, 2019 12:18 am

Terry E. wrote:
Cassandre wrote:Sure everyone wants to be seen and valued and supported in dealing with their blind spots in a compassionate manner.

But :

" Try and support him and please don't doubt him. Being doubted has its own form of pain. "

Someone manipulative could utter those very words? "Don't doubt me, I need you, I can't deal without you."

Don't you wish people to have a choice?

It matters to me, giving people options. The choice is theirs.


What you are referring to are Munchers. There are no people I dislike more than them. However if he is a genuine survivor validation of his life is important. Maybe the most important thing for him.

You need to be careful here as the "minimizing a survivors pain" will strike a lot of nerves here. Many if not most of us have experienced it.


I've been very much abused Terry so I'm a strong advocate of listening to people's pain without c asting judgement.

But my mother is also a cruel and manipulative person as well as a hypochondriac. Does she experience the pain she says she is experiencing? I'm sure sometimes she does. But does she know how to trick people into taking care of her needs based on imaginary ills? She does too... A Munchner, I take it!

Here I did not have an agenda other than providing OP with some objective tools to discriminate between the too. I do not have enough information to make a judgement at this point about jaydnul's person of interest, and am trying to stay fair to all options until I do. I do rush to judgement once in a while but I don't think that was the case here.

Thanks for clarifying your perspective as I thought there might be potential for misunderstanding.
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