Hello,
I'll describe my situation. An abusive relationship with one of my parents has led me to keep returning to one of them as though I were constantly seeking to be re abused. I need to find a term for a type of syndrome/condition, could you help?
I suffered psychological, verbal and emotional abuse from birth through to adulthood and through in to present day. It included (extremely severe) Gaslighting by (a parent with mental health disorders) narcissism psychopathic, also an alcoholic and extreme sexist.
I was so badly abused I now suffer psychoses, hearing abusive voices which follow me costantly, sometimes from behind doors or walls, in crowds etc, they are all around me, these auditory hallucinations constantly repeating the words of abuse I suffered as a child and still suffer today.
Being raised this way led me to believe I was the one to blame, I feel utterly worthless as a person, and also in the eyes of the person I love the most, my own parent, this constantly draws me back in to the abuse cycle, I have now been conditioned by them to seek abusive qualities in my partners, often confusing rejection and abuse for love.
There must be a specific name for this condition, I am un able to find it, it is something along the lne of Stockholm syndrome. Please can anyone offer me any suggestions or places I might be able to research.