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Am I being abused?

Open Discussions About Child Abuse

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Am I being abused?

Postby awesomebeez » Sat Jun 16, 2018 1:54 am

My parents are not like typical abusive parents. Granted, they do hit me and constantly remind me that they think I am less of a person but they give me their money for extra curricular activities and obsess over my grades. When I was younger, they used to constantly hit me with a wooden spoon if my grades did not meet their requirements of straight A's, which often did not happen as I was being bullied at the time. My mom's the main perpetrator. She used to strip me of my clothes and beat me with the wooden spoon or she'd wake me up in the middle of the night after checking my grades and make me wash all the basement floor on my hands and knees. Im 16 now and although she isn't as physically abusive and humiliating as she used to be (she hit me almost every day and once in 5th grade she emailed my teacher saying I was too dumb to figure out my math homework) she still yells at me constantly, is controlling, and degrading. She often calls me an animal and tells me that I'm stupid, lazy, fat, ugly, etc. She often does not let me go out with friends and she forces me to do stuff for her when she wants it done by yelling at me and degrading me. Am I being abused? If I am, what can I do about it? If I were to call Social Services, what would happen and how much would it cost? How can I ensure that I would not be sent back here (my parents are very well educated and manipulative)? Thank you.
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Re: Am I being abused?

Postby Terry E. » Sun Jun 17, 2018 10:21 pm

The reality is there is not much you can do. You would not be deemed to be in physical danger so social services in most countries would do nothing but there area a couple of things you can do.

Make sure you are never like her. Believe it or not for many it becomes the auto default when they are a parent as they never received proper love. If you ever catch yourself ever acting like her step back and take a deep breath as that would not be you. You are better.

Understand that you are not who she thinks you are. It is her problem not yours. At some time when you are independent try and find yourself.

Don't base your self esteem on what she has said and done to you. You are worth more. Be someone you can be proud of. Don't be manipulated and don't manipulate. Find a role model and learn from them. A teacher, a boss a work colleague someone of value who you admire. She has not given you all the skills you need, so try and pick them up from good people around you. It is not easy but keep trying at it.

Understand that because you may have not been loved or cared for the way that you should have that you may emotionally invest too much, too soon in relationships (and be manipulated, or worse - common problem). Take time and be careful in love.

So you cannot fix today but be careful and you may well fix your tomorrow.
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