Hi, I need advice about what to do.
My mother used to whip me almost everyday for years. She never wanted a child but had me because my dad wanted a child and her dad wanted a grandchild. So she never wanted me. She hates me and is jealous of me. She sees me as competition for my father's love. I am a textbook case. Ran away twice, attempted suicide, attempted poisoning of the abuser. All because I was desperate to get out of that abusive situation.
When I ran away for the last time, I was 20 years old. My father found me and I tried to tell him why. He wouldn't listen. Made excuses for her, "she is your mother" and all that. In all those years of abuse, he never knew. Did he really not know or not???
My take on this is that he never wanted to know. He always deferred to her. My opinion - My father is a coward who could never and would never stand up to her.
Anyway, I finally told him again recently, recounting evidence, reminding him of events, this and that, etc. I also told him how much she hated me and was jealous of me. That even strangers and their friends would ask me if she was my stepmother. Her own sisters and mother could see her jealousy. Anyway, he finally said, "I believe you" and apologised for not knowing etc. I felt vindicated and reliefed, but then.....he began to backtrack.
My mother has alzheimer's. During dinner one night, she said, "Call ..... for dinner." My dad replied, "She is in ....." My mother commented, "why didn't you tell me. She is a clever girl."
The point is, in her alzheimer's state she doesn't show her hatred and jealousy of me. It doesn't come out. She often asks about me. This made my father doubt me and what I told him. I am back where I started. Nowhere.
Even when she was healthy, of course she wouldn't show my father outright that she hated me and was jealous of me. So either way, I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.
What do I do?