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I have some questions on a behaviorism in a recent breakdown

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I have some questions on a behaviorism in a recent breakdown

Postby Aderis114 » Sat Dec 30, 2017 9:15 pm

I was going over a breakdown of how my mom, dad, and middle-older sister always and constantly calls me "evil" "horrible" "a bad daughter" "manipulative" "buzzkill" "mean" etc when any of my opinions or emotions doesn't perfectly align with their ideas or emotions. There was a history of other abuse on my dad's end from a young age but thats not really something I want to go into

But during it, while talking to my boyfriend who was trying to comfort me on the phone and relax me, I was constantly repeating hte phrase "I don't want to be hated" and "I want to be love / I want love" over and over again.

It only now hit me that its probably somewhat odd, especially since its the first time Ive ever gotten like that. Is that normal? Is it cause, for the first time in a while, Im not mostly dissociating shortly after a breakdown but was rather trying to handle it? Or would it be more related to OCD?
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Re: I have some questions on a behaviorism in a recent breakdown

Postby Terry E. » Sat Dec 30, 2017 9:26 pm

Not sure and may depend on how old you are but we all want to be loved and sometimes the balloon goes up that we don't get it from home. Depending on how old you are and what just had transpired sounds very normal to me.
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Re: I have some questions on a behaviorism in a recent breakdown

Postby Aderis114 » Sat Jan 13, 2018 8:35 am

Currently 17 years old.
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Re: I have some questions on a behaviorism in a recent breakdown

Postby seabreezeblue » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:31 pm

sounds pretty normal to me.. like you just got a little stuck on a really important part of the trauma for a little while there and it was playing on repeat until you'd processed it a bit with the help of your boyfriend.
Sounds like your boyfriend is a good person and that you trust him.. how long have you been with him? xx
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