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Long-term Consequences of Child Abuse, and Neglect

Open Discussions About Child Abuse

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Re: Long-term Consequences of Child Abuse, and Neglect

Postby Cookie42 » Tue Jul 18, 2017 8:33 am

I have to write a letter to my dad for my psychologist session. I thoughtc it would be easy but its hard to know where to start
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Re: Long-term Consequences of Child Abuse, and Neglect

Postby ScapeGoatChild » Fri Aug 25, 2017 5:36 pm

As a 56 year old survivor of Target Child Selection / Scape Goat Abuse I have to say although I still suffer today I fortunately did not experience some of the resulting behaviors as others do.
I have two sisters, one is 10 month older the other is 5 years younger. I was singled out for abuse by both parents. My mother did not love me and constantly gave me all the chores to do and held me to a different standard than she did my sisters.
My father was VERY abusive, physically, verbally and emotionally. He would beat me for the slightest perceived wrong....even if he thought I looked at him the wrong way. During these beatings he would tell me he wished I had never been born. He would slap me and scream "that's for the Ni**er you are going to bring home!" "That's for the BUM you're going to bring home!" He would pull my hair and scream "You're going to be a prostitute on Court Street!" "Why can't you be more like your sister!"
My mother SPOILED and doted on my younger sister and my father SPOILED and worshiped my older sister. I was constantly told by both parents that there was something wrong with me and I was worthless and a bad person.
Unfortunately many who suffer this kind of abuse end believing they are worthless and they end up getting involved with drugs, crime and live their lives living up to the predictions of their abusers.
I left home t 18 and worked full time to support myself. I was not promiscuous and did not get involved in drugs and criminal activity.
Instead I spent my life bending over backwards trying to please my family. I was always treated with a disdain, disrespect and treated as "lesser than" by my family.
My older sister is a narcissist who treats me like I am some sort of pathetic creature, defective and always wrong.
My younger sister is a narcissistic sociopath who thinks the sun shines out of her back side, that she is to be worshipped and adored and she has taken GREAT DELIGHT in treating me like $#%^ her whole life.
Of COURSE if I ever try to defend myself my family will ALWAYS stock together and defend each other and assert that my feelings are unjustified.
For years I struggled to be treated equally by my family, I wanted them to treat me with the same acceptance, over, tolerance and respect that they treat each other with.
At the age of 46, after yet another incident where I was treated HORRIBLY by my family I decided they would never change and that I could not live the rest of my life being treated like crap by them. I walked away and had no contact with them for about 5 years when I ran into my father at an event. It was good to see him and he appeared to be a more gentle and loving person. After about a year and a half he finally got me to tak to my older sister and eventually my younger sister. BIG MISTAKE.
Pretty quickly it all blew up in a very bad way and I was hurt beyond belief.
To those who feel that they HAVE TO BE INVOLVED with their ABUSIVE FAMILY I say - NO YOU DON'T!
Blood does not mean that you have to subject yourself to constant abuse and mistreatment.
Walk away and STAY AWAY.
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Re: Long-term Consequences of Child Abuse, and Neglect

Postby Terry E. » Wed Aug 30, 2017 12:35 am

ScapeGoatChild wrote:

To those who feel that they HAVE TO BE INVOLVED with their ABUSIVE FAMILY I say - NO YOU DON'T!
Blood does not mean that you have to subject yourself to constant abuse and mistreatment.
Walk away and STAY AWAY.





That is so good. Life is not a Disney movie. We are not all going to get justice. Cut your losses and walk away.

I think the big one for me was if I could keep my boys away from my mother and brother until they were old enough to see past the nana role model. I did not have to tell them about her as with mature eyes they could see things were not right.

But yeah cut and run

(and I am so sorry you went through that crap, but you appear strong and resilient and a survivor. I hope you have been able to be the parent you should have had with your own children.)
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Re: Long-term Consequences of Child Abuse, and Neglect

Postby quietgirl2538 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 1:44 pm

I was the scape goat child. But my family mocks that as an assumption of mine. ###$ them. That's my answer to them. I am at very limited contact with my mom. No calling. Nothing pretty much unless she's seriously ill. Other family lives further away and I just roll my eyes about their behavior, but I can deal with them better and I have become very assertive and defend myself. Sending hugs if wanted.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

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Re: Long-term Consequences of Child Abuse, and Neglect

Postby reinvent » Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:21 am

Research Shows Bla Bla and Bla. Same old song and still I sit here and watch my grandson having to suffer like I. Education is a huge element in the abuse of our children. What we are all taught to be the value of human life. So quick to quote research but yet always missing the bigger picture. You can categorize all the environmental factors and historical data you want, but it wont for a second convince me that society in doing so seeks to pass the buck.

Society is well aware of the cost. The question should be why the cost and is it worth it?

Pfft ... you can take this from the horse's mouth and jam your certifications where the sun don't shine. Research shows ... bla bla and bla!
Teal'c (Star Gate SG1)
“To resist the influence of others, knowledge of oneself is most important.”
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Re: Long-term Consequences of Child Abuse, and Neglect

Postby Terry E. » Thu Sep 21, 2017 3:35 am

reinvent wrote:
Research Shows Bla Bla and Bla. Same old song and still I sit here and watch my grandson having to suffer like I. Education is a huge element in the abuse of our children. What we are all taught to be the value of human life............. but it wont for a second convince me that society in doing so seeks to pass the buck.





You will not get many arguments from people here. Although there has been some great research over the last 50 years too much is very brittle when put under examination. Domestic violence is driven by women's groups using it to further other agendas.

Sex abuse by groups attacking the church. One thing that I still feel is the social feeling that if abuse happens outside the home, especially by the church that is a terrible betrayal of trust. Far greater abuse suffered by a child from their parent is well .. "we all had problems growing up ... get over it".

Also from the courts in Australia . Killing a child under 3 is around 9-12 years, 3-10 is around 12-15 years, killing a parent is around 40 !! The sentences seemed almost weighted by bodyweight.
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Re: Long-term Consequences of Child Abuse, and Neglect

Postby seabreezeblue » Thu Sep 21, 2017 11:40 am

Terry E. wrote:
Also from the courts in Australia . Killing a child under 3 is around 9-12 years, 3-10 is around 12-15 years, killing a parent is around 40 !! The sentences seemed almost weighted by bodyweight.


Please tell me that's not true.. :evil:

Killing a parent can give you a longer sentence than killing a child? what the actual hell.
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and i'll run round the moon..
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Re: Long-term Consequences of Child Abuse, and Neglect

Postby TrialError » Sat Oct 28, 2017 6:34 am

Butterfly Faerie wrote:Factors Affecting the Consequences of Child Abuse

Not all abused and neglected children will experience long-term consequences. Outcomes of individual cases vary widely and are affected by a combination of factors, including:

The child's age and developmental status when the abuse or neglect occurred
The type of abuse (physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, etc.)
Frequency, duration, and severity of abuse
Relationship between the victim and his or her abuser (Chalk, Gibbons, & Scarupa, 2002).
Researchers also have begun to explore why, given similar conditions, some children experience long-term consequences of abuse and neglect while others emerge relatively unscathed. The ability to cope, and even thrive, following a negative experience is sometimes referred to as "resilience." A number of protective factors may contribute to an abused or neglected child's resilience. These include individual characteristics, such as optimism, self-esteem, intelligence, creativity, humor, and independence. Protective factors can also include the family or social environment, such as a child's access to social support; in particular, a caring adult in the child's life. Community well-being, including neighborhood stability and access to health care, is also a protective factor (Thomlison, 1997).

Physical Health Consequences

The immediate physical effects of abuse or neglect can be relatively minor (bruises or cuts) or severe (broken bones, hemorrhage, or even death). In some cases the physical effects are temporary; however, the pain and suffering they cause a child should not be discounted. Meanwhile, the long-term impact of child abuse and neglect on physical health is just beginning to be explored. Below are some outcomes researchers have identified:


Shaken baby syndrome. The immediate effects of shaking a baby (a common form of child abuse in infants) can include vomiting, concussion, respiratory distress, seizures, and death. Long-term consequences can include blindness, learning disabilities, mental retardation, cerebral palsy, or paralysis (Conway, 1998).


Impaired brain development. Child abuse and neglect have been shown, in some cases, to cause important regions of the brain to fail to form properly, resulting in impaired physical, mental, and emotional development (Perry, 2002; Shore, 1997). In other cases, the stress of chronic abuse causes a "hyperarousal" response by certain areas of the brain, which may result in hyperactivity, sleep disturbances, and anxiety, as well as increased vulnerability to post-traumatic stress disorder, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, conduct disorder, and learning and memory difficulties (Perry, 2001; Dallam, 2001).


Poor physical health. A study of 700 children who had been in foster care for 1 year found more than one-quarter of the children had some kind of recurring physical or mental health problem (National Survey of Child and Adolescent Well-Being). A study of 9,500 HMO participants showed a relationship between various forms of household dysfunction (including childhood abuse) and long-term health problems such as sexually transmitted diseases, heart disease, cancer, chronic lung disease, skeletal fractures, and liver disease (Hillis, Anda, Felitti, Nordenberg, & Marchbanks, 2000; Felitti, Anda, Nordenberg, Williamson, Spitz, Edwards, Koss, & Marks, 1998).

Psychological Consequences

The immediate emotional effects of abuse and neglect—isolation, fear, and an inability to trust—can translate into lifelong consequences including low self-esteem, depression, and relationship difficulties. Researchers have identified links between child abuse and neglect and the following:


Poor mental and emotional health. In one long-term study, as many as 80 percent of young adults who had been abused met the diagnostic criteria for at least one psychiatric disorder at age 21. These young adults exhibited many problems, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and suicide attempts (Silverman, Reinherz, & Giaconia, 1996). Other psychological and emotional conditions associated with abuse and neglect include panic disorder, dissociative disorders, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and reactive attachment disorder (Teicher, 2000).


Cognitive difficulties. The National Survey of Child and Adolescent Well-Being recently found children placed in out-of-home care due to abuse or neglect tended to score lower than the general population on measures of cognitive capacity, language development, and academic achievement (2003).


Social difficulties. Children who are abused and neglected by caretakers often do not form secure attachments to them. These early attachment difficulties can lead to later difficulties in relationships with other adults as well as with peers (Morrison, Frank, Holland, & Kates, 1999).

Behavioral Consequences

Not all victims of child abuse and neglect will experience behavioral consequences; however, child abuse and neglect appear to make the following more likely:


Difficulties during adolescence. Studies have found abused and neglected children to be at least 25 percent more likely to experience problems such as delinquency, teen pregnancy, low academic achievement, drug use, and mental health problems (Kelley et al., 1997).


Juvenile delinquency and adult criminality. A National Institute of Justice study indicated being abused or neglected as a child increased the likelihood of arrest as a juvenile by 59 percent. Abuse and neglect increased the likelihood of adult criminal behavior by 28 percent and violent crime by 30 percent (Widom & Maxfield, 2001).


Alcohol and other drug abuse. Research consistently reflects an increased likelihood that abused and neglected children will smoke cigarettes, abuse alcohol, or take illicit drugs. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, as many as two-thirds of people in drug treatment programs reported being abused as children (2000).


Abusive behavior. Abusive parents often have experienced abuse during their own childhoods. It is estimated approximately one-third of abused and neglected children will eventually victimize their own children (Prevent Child Abuse New York, 2001).

Fact Sheet




Wow. That's quite a lot of negative effects.

There's this one Karey Wong who wants to tell the whole world that her mom, Jeddy Wong of Vancouver, physically and mentally abused her.

"Daughter talks about Jeddy Wong verbally abusing daughter"on YouTube
*mod edit*

What are the possible solutions for the "karey wongs" out there? Sue the mother?
Last edited by quietgirl2538 on Sat Oct 28, 2017 10:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: do not post youtube video that does not correspond to topic of Child Abuse
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Re: Long-term Consequences of Child Abuse, and Neglect

Postby AnnieX » Tue Apr 24, 2018 4:21 pm

Long term consequences - Complex PTSD is the short answer.

From infancy until I was 36 - at 36 I cut all ties with my entire enabling, blindfolded, denying family. At 52 years of age I am struggling (without a therapist) with suppressed memories that want to resurface.
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Re: Long-term Consequences of Child Abuse, and Neglect

Postby Terry E. » Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:07 pm

Hugs if needed.

Keep working at it. It does get better, not easy. Do you have current family in your life who you can talk to. Many of us find that hard to find, kind why a few of us hang around here.

Take care.
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