Cancer & Depression - Me

As a fit, active male, at 43 was diagnosed with colorectal cancer, stage 2. At that time, my life went downhill, thinking i was going die anyway, i contemplated suicide a few times. Cancer of the anus, and a tumor the size of a tennis ball. Test after test, i got more depressed ans scared.
I had major surgery after a few weeks of testing, my weight dropped to 55kg, with clothes and boots on!
Before surgery, i had 6 weeks of radio and chemo.

After surgery, i woke up in intensive care, then a few days later, relized i was half the man i used to be.
The reality of my surgery sank in, and i woke up to find myself missing a few bits, (pelvic exenteration)? removal of the entire contents of my pelvis. I had removed, my entire larger bowel, my bladder, my prostate, and my anus cut out, and sewn up. Woke up with two stomas on my belly.
Well, i tried to roll over and die, but the staff would not let me. I was was so depressed. So in came all the phycs and doctors, pumped me with more drugs till i changed my mind.
That was two and a half years ago now, while there are many i things can't do anymore,(lost my sex life too, due to prostate removal), even it if it means caring for the two ostomy bags i have hanging from my stomach. I just have outdoor plumbing now.
Since the surgery, i have been on Cymbalta for anti depresant, and diazapam daily, on a good day, none. On a bad day, 4 or 5.
Although i feel like my life as i knew it, has been cut short, I am depressed, but very grateful for the second chance i have been given.
Some days a better than others.

Just my short story.

Hey,

I have Ulcerative Colitis and I believe that it colorectal cancer will eventually do its work on me too, but I'm just 28 at the moment. I know a few people who have ostomy bags and who have had their colon removed. I don't know if they were equally as depressed as you were post-operation, but I imagine that it is quite a difficult moment no matter who you are. As humans, however, we adapt to whatever conditions we face - i.e. Things take time...

What are you looking forward to in the future?

I research cancer by the way, but breast cancer. Colleagues in my laboratory research colorectal cancer though.

Take care
Kevin

Chucky wrote:Hey,

I have Ulcerative Colitis and I believe that it colorectal cancer will eventually do its work on me too, but I'm just 28 at the moment. I know a few people who have ostomy bags and who have had their colon removed. I don't know if they were equally as depressed as you were post-operation, but I imagine that it is quite a difficult moment no matter who you are. As humans, however, we adapt to whatever conditions we face - i.e. Things take time...

What are you looking forward to in the future?

I research cancer by the way, but breast cancer. Colleagues in my laboratory research colorectal cancer though.

Take care
Kevin

Yes i do believe things get better with time. Your body learns to adapt after a while.
I think a big part of my depression is, i dont know what to look forward to in the future?
I live in a remote rural location, and have isolated myself from most family and friends.
I would love to look forward to doing the things i was so passionate about, one was riding motorcycles, which i have done for 36 years.
But with my anus removed, and the wound area still very sore, sitting on a bike seat brings tears to my eyes.
I cant work anymore, unless im retrained in some boring clerical job. So ive been pensioned off. My back ground is road construction, opperating heavy machinery.
Working in pine forest, cutting timber. Now, i cant even pull start a chainsaw anymore, or i will risk my intestines popping out in the form of a hernia.
I can live with the ostomy bags, and each year that passes does get better.
I just hope that one day, when my ass isn't so sore, i can ride in the wind again.

Thanks for reading chucky, Ulcerative Colitis, is very nasty also. But at only 28, i feel for you.
I was in my prime at 28, and not even thinking about cancer.
Im gratefull for the 43 years i had living a normal life without the ostomy bags.
Some may say 'stop complaining, your alive!'
Yes, i relize that, and mabey one day i will stop complaining, and saying, "why Me"

'Why me?' is something that crops-up in my mind a lot too. You see others and they seem to 'blessed' (I'm not religious, for the record...), and here we are plagued with various issues. Plus, we do only have one shot at life. I don't know ... I try my best to make the most of everything and I never back away from a challenge these days.

How do you pass each day??? You are retired, right? I assume so as you mentioned being 'pensioned off'.

Kevin

Depression is a disabling illness that affects most of cancer patients. In certain cases of depression in patients with cancer, antidepressant therapy may be indicated. Depression and anxiety are not uncommon among people diagnosed with cancer. So try to spend the time with people or with the things which will give you happiness and like you most. This will help to reduce your depression at some point.

hi,

why dont you check http://www.depressionsymptomsguide.com/ ... ssion.html It covers how to deal with depression when you already have cancer. I read it for my uncle who is undergoing the same. Found it very useful.