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Anxiety breeding more anxiety

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Anxiety breeding more anxiety

Postby Mysida » Sat May 21, 2022 2:07 pm

Hello community. I hope this is the right subforum. This is about anxiety breeding more anxiety.

I am in my mid-forties, have anxiety, ADD and am diagnosed as autistic. About ten years ago I was traumatised by bullying as well. Luckily I am married with kids and we have a dog.

I live in a small, rural town now. I generally keep away from people but since I have a dog I have to leave the house several times a day. There must be something about me that does not sit well with people as I notice teenagers and even one neighbour getting slightly more aggressive with their comments. Some teenagers curse me under their breath. One has looked back at me openly after calling me names for a moment. My own instinct was to look away, but understanding the situation I stared back. This does not happen often (2nd time this year) but I am flabbergasted by it. I usually do not see these people at all (or do not notice) them and have no opinion on them at all. How could they insult me? It would take an awful lot for me to make a judgement like that. I am terribly naive in interpersonal issues.

I was just outside with my dog and then talked to him for a bit, telling ihm not to eat some berries lying on the ground and to come inside. My neighbour does this too with their dog. Now his wife mumbled "weirdo" and her daughter said "yeah". Stuff like that hits me hard as I am traumatised by events in the past who were much more severe. I do not want this to happen again.

Writing all this already helps somewhat as these issues are now put into perspective. It's not such a big thing really and I should focus on my own goals instead of being hypersensitive about other people's statements. Some other people would not even have noticed them if they were directed at them. For me however they seem terrible and I feel like a noose slowly tightens in this place. My wife, who walks through life with her head held high and converses with others (unlike me, mostly) would not even experience something like that.

How can I prevent this to happen is my question. I suppose I can answer this partly myself. It cannot be prevented. All I can do is to get rid of the stress and make myself aware of how insignificant it is. I can ask people clearly to stop it, if they keep doing it, I suppose. But mostly I would need to connect to others, which is something I have a lot of trouble with. If I don't they will keep looking at me as the unwanted outsider. Oh, well. Any additional ideas are welcome. Thank you.
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Re: Anxiety breeding more anxiety

Postby Terry E. » Sun May 22, 2022 9:07 am

Well you are right, you have answered it yourself however it is a lot easier to know what to do than to actually do it, if you are not actually socially comfortable.

However the more you try the more you may be comfortable with such a persona when going outside or interacting. Takes work and is easier to pull away, but the more you can do it the better you will feel.

And I agree, people should not voice such comments without knowing the other person's journey through life. Smacks of arrogance.

Take care.
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